Afraid to Lose Control
by tuckeyhunger99
Summary: Every full moon, ever since Saix was, a 12 year old Isa living in Radiant Garden, he had turned into a werewolf. Only Axel knows, but when an incident happens which leads the members to grow suspicious of Saix's actions. How long can Saix and Axel keep his secret?
1. Prologue

**Afraid to Lose Control**

**Hello Kingdom Hearts fans! Hi my name is tuckeyhunger99, and I would like to entertain you with a new story I have been writing. I have been really looking forward to posting this story, since Dream Drop Distance came out. I really love the fact that Axel and Saix were best friends before the Organization, and I love the fact that Lea still worries about him. So I decide to write this fan fiction. **

**I hope you enjoy the story, and I hope I stay true to the characters. (I have been obsessed with Kingdom Hearts, since KHII came out in 2005. So I hope I don't offend any of you. But if I don't do a good job I was 6 when KHII came out)**

**So without any further ado, I hope you enjoy the story... **

_**Prologue: The Wolf Only Grows.**_

_Saix's P.O.V_

_It's that time again..._

_Every month without fail, locked in an empty white bare room. With no knowing what I could do; or what I am capable of. The monster just seems to take control and makes me forget everything, apart for the pain. Well people with hearts would say it was pain. To me, and every other member, it is just an empty feeling. A memory of what it used to feel like. Nothing more than an illusion; pure fantasy. But why does it feel so real..._

_NO! Don't let Axel's childish fantasy get stuck in your head, we don't have hearts._

_The monster takes me from the inside out, until the last thing I hear is Lea... NO... Axel screaming 'Saix' or 'Isa'. It is usually Isa, but I can't do anything but listen in that state. Then nothing but pure darkness over throws me. I have had these black out's since I was a young boy living in Radiant Garden. The first one was the worst as I was on my own. Waking up freezing and alone. In a wood, just out of the centre of Radiant Garden. That was the first time I had ever felt true fear. But luckily ever since then Axe... Lea was there to help me. I don't understand why he hasn't given up on me. I did a long time ago. Yet he still helps, even though he knows how horrible I am to the Puppet and Roxas._

_But still waking up is the hardest part..._

_Wondering what I have done. What I could have done. It got better when I became a Nobody though; as I didn't really care about who I hurt, as I had no heart to show any guilt or compassion. Compassion. Such a dry word. It has no meaning to me, well not anymore at least. But it's the 'fear' that the other members will find out, not so much of who I have hurt. I don't want any of those fools knowing. They already call me 'wolf man' and 'wereax'. I don't need more grief from them. Only Axel knows, and only he can._

_It sounds like I care, but do I have a heart to care? No._

**Ok so how did I do? It was only the Prologue, but I hoped it dragged you in. Comments are really appreciated, so if you want to tell me what you thought, review or PM me.**

**P.S: oh and by the way thanks for reading the Prologue. It really means a lot. **

**Tuckeyhunger99 out **


	2. Chapter 1: After the Nightmares

**Afraid to Lose Control**

**Hi again. I decide to post two chapters in one day, as the Prologue was a little short. And to be honest, didn't really explain that much. **

**I thought it best, as the whole story is based around Saix. So it is only right he introduce you to the story.**

**Anyway hope you enjoy chapter 1!**

**Chapter 1: After the Nightmares**

The room was silent, and still. There is only two 'beings' in the pure white room. One with red flame like hair sitting on a chair looking into the centre of the room, where the other lay. He was holding a black coat, like the one he was wearing. The signature coat, of the Organization to which they both belonged to. He also had folded on his lap a shirt, black trousers, black underwear and black socks, with a matching pair of black shoes underneath the chair. Around the room were pieces of black clothes, which had been torn into shreds. As the room was white, it created a checker affect on the floor. The room wasn't that big, it was only 5 by 4 meters. It was only really big enough for about two beds, but it was empty, apart for the beings it held inside its walls. The other 'being' with long blue hair was lying in the centre of the room with a blanket covering him and nothing else. His eyes were closed, and he was breathing lightly. He seemed so rested and at peace, but they both knew he was far from it.

The red haired man stood up from the seat where he had sat for the past 9 hours. Not once getting up or taking his eyes of the other man, apart from to put the blanket over him. He walked over to the man as quietly as possible, which was a pain, because of how hard the floor was. He knelt down close to the man and placed the clothes on the floor, along with the black shoes.

He gently nudge his shoulder "Saix buddy time to wake up." He said in his usual sarcastic voice. The man got no response from Saix, which appeared to annoy him. "Oh Isa. Get up. It's you buddy Axel." After getting the same response, Axel rolled his eyes, and then gave a devilish smile. He stood up and took a few paces backwards. "Ok have it your way. Just letting you know it is half 9 in the morning. Guess what that means... you late for work!"

Quicker than lighting Saix's eyes pushed opened, reliving gold eyes with a small hint of orange in them, beaming at the ceiling. He sat up, but regretted it as it made his head burn, as if it were on fire. He heard a laugh coming from the side of him, and saw Axel laughing his head off. "It's only 6, you got bags of time!" he said trying his best not to fall over.

Saix looked down, and then commented in his bland, emotionless normal tone. "Why must you try to frustrate me all the time? It's like you want to get turned into a dusk."

"Hey who said anything about a dusk? I was just doing as you told me to do"

"At least you can do that much." Saix said still not smiling.

"What can I say; I'm a teacher's pet." He teased. Then getting a strange and weird look from Saix.

"Hmm... that's funny, because last time I checked you were the one getting detention, and I was the one having to sit with you as dragged me into it."

"Well at least you got A's. I end up getting D's"

Saix golden eyes then fell hard on Axel's green eyes. "And who's fault was that?!" Saix then faced back down, not wanting to remind himself of the past.

Axel's smile then turned into 'sorrow'. He didn't have any idea what it was like. The pain and trauma that Saix went through every month was unbearable. Plus, if it wasn't for Saix he would have been the one in that state not Saix. Sometimes Axel even questioned why Saix stilled spoke to him, but he was glad that they still did speak. As Saix was 'second-in-command' and didn't have time for his childish behaviour. As he told him once before. But it never stopped Axel from ever talking to him. No matter how much he annoyed the bluenette. Axel knew that he would get the response of 'as usual' but he had to try, to get Saix to talk about it. He was Saix only friend in the Organization. A side from Xemnas, but he wasn't sure if they were friends. So he wanted to know if he was ok.

"Are you ok? You know with the transformation thing?" Axel said trailing of a bit.

Saix took a deep breath and sigh. Every time it happened he could only really feel the pain. But this time something was different. He could feel much more then pain he could feel rage. He turned back to Axel this time with a bit of emotion.

"Lea." This of course got his attention, as he never called him that anymore. "I felt anger." There was a deadly pause. He didn't know how Lea was going to react. As he didn't even know where to begin. But he added on. "I'm losing it."

"Isa, it's ok. Remember what they said, as long as you don't try to kill anyone the day of the full moon, then you have nothing to worry about. Got it memorized?" He said trying to lighten the mood up a bit. "Anyway, you've got nothing to worry about until another 29 days, ok?"

Saix nodded as he knew Axel was right. There was nothing either of them could do to prevent it. Or even delay it. But it was over, well for the time being anyway. Saix didn't have to worry about it at least until 22 days time, when he would begin to show affects of the wolf coming.

"Axel. Did you have to use fire again?" he said quietly, not knowing as the room was fire proof, hence the reason why Axel picked the room.

"Does it matter Isa, I know it's not you, it's the wolf." Axel said trying to get his mind off of it.

Saix sigh. It was getting stronger. He could feel it. The past 17 times it had happened he had began to feel more pain. But now he was feeling anger and rage, he could tell it was getting worse. Saix shook his head then turned back to Axel. "I guess not. Well anyway you go and get 3 hours sleep before I come and wake you up, for your mission."

"Hey what about breakfast?" Axel smirked before exiting the room, using the door. Quite recently Xemnas had placed a block on certain rooms in the castle, so that they couldn't use the corridor's of darkness in them. For example the bed rooms for the people in the Organisation and the kitchen, so nobody could have boiling water all over them, yet again. Luckily for Saix this was also a room he had put the block on, he didn't know why but he was regretful for it. He shook his head and thanks Demyx for scaring Xigbar at the right time. Saix then notice that pieces of back clothes were scattered around the room. He sigh knowing again, without fail he had torn all of his clothes to shreds again. He saw the clothes that Axel and had placed near him and smiled. He was always so kind to him, and protecting his dignity was also something Saix liked about him.

He quickly got changed and scooped up all of the pieces of black clothing, and walked out the room holding them. He then tossed the pieces in a corridor of darkness and then continued his way to the kitchen. He could have easily used a corridor but he needed to walk. Also he didn't see the point in using the corridor, and get out of it 5 meters away from the kitchen door. He needed to clear his head, and be away from the people for a few minutes. Also he had a feeling that Axel had placed a ring around him last night, so he needed to stretch his muscles anyway.

In the kitchen...

"Please do it again! Please Luxord! Please!" Demyx pleaded in is hyperactive tone of voice. The older nobody smiled, as he saw the plead on both number IX and XIV's faces. He slowly shook his head in pity, as they appeared to not realise that he was taking their munny. But then again it was always fun to win against someone, other than Xigbar. As he had never lost against Number II, or ever would.

"Ok, as long as you promise to leave me alone after that." he said in his thick British accent. Both of the younger members nodded, as they decide who it should give Luxord the munny. Eventually after about a minute or two if bickering Demyx placed a coin in Luxord's hand. The Gambler of Fate then developed a cheesy grin, as he tossed the coin up in the air, only for it to disappear right before IX's ad XIV's eyes. The Aqua and Ocean blue eyes light up in amazement. Just the pure shock of even hearing of the trick, made Demyx light headed. He desperately wanted to know how he did it, and where the coin went. Of course everybody, even Xion, knew it went straight into Luxord's back pocket. But Demyx small and feeble brain just couldn't handle the truth. Marluxia and Larxene were also in the kitchen, and had witness the 'amazing trick'. If it was one thing they did enjoy it was seeing the nobodies getting conned and tricked by anyone. They laughed slightly as Demyx was still wondering where his munny had gone. Marluxia shook his head, and glanced up at the clock. It was only half 6, but he wonder where Axel was. One because he wanted his food and it was Axel turn to make breakfast today. But the other reason was that he wanted to discuss the issues of the Superior, and over taking the Organization.

"Have any of you seen Axel?" Marluxia said, interrupting Demyx's idiocy, and most liking him losing more munny to Marluxia's Superior member, as he notice, Luxord was giving him stare, as to say shut the hell up.

Xion sweetly commented "No, not since yesterday."

"Last time I saw him, he was with Saix. I think that was after dinner" Luxord staring at his cards in disappointment, because he had dealt himself a bad hand.

"Well he better hurry up, as I am starving. Plus 'X-face' won't care if we haven't eaten, and will send us on one of those stupid missions." Marluxia said in an angry tone. He shook his head making his pink hair wave slightly. If anyone in the room saw what he had just done, they would have laughed there head off, as he looked like a girl every time he did that. Luckily only Larxene was paying him attention, and she wouldn't dare laugh at him.

"Anyway, haven't any of you freaks out anything better to do?" Larxene spat as she was looking at the other 3 member who were in the kitchen. She didn't understand why they were up so early, Axel should have been the only one up really, as they didn't start having breakfast until 8:00.

"Not really" Demyx sigh, wishing he could have his sitar back, after Saix conservative it 2 days ago. Xion and Luxord both shook their heads at her question.

"Well, in that case one of you can cook, as Axel isn't here." she said sharply. Giving them all evil glares. She only ended up getting ignored, as they all sigh, and looked what Luxord was doing. The 'mullet boy' as he was now called, for the first time ever ignored her. He was too upset and was missing his sitar to do what she had said. He didn't even appeared to be scared, of what he had done. He just slowly sank into the game of solitaire. Xion on the other had been trying not to look at Larxene, as she scared the crap out of her. She just did what Demyx and Luxord were doing and hoped for the best. After all if she did try and kill her, Luxord was both: Larxene's, Marluxia's and her Superior. So she felt safe knowing that no harm should come to her as Luxord liked her.

"Hey bitches don't ignore me!" she shouted.

Still they just carried on with the card game, not even noticing her. Her anger began to boil, as she hated being ignored above anything else. She even hated it more then when Demyx was playing his awful Sitar. She clutched her fists, and her hair started to slowly rise up more. This made Marluxia smirk a bite, as he knew they were all about to be electrocuted. He took a step away from her, just as she was about scream.

Before she could do so, every member in the kitchen turned to face the door, after they heard an annoying sarcastic tone of voice fill the air. "Hey my fellow members how are we all today?" it was none other than Xigbar, looking as sarcastic as ever. Number II in the Organization, and had managed to get the nick name of 'old pirate' by Axel and up. He had his irritating smile on, so they all knew he was up to something. "Hey Luxord fancy a game of poker later?"

The Brit slowly nodded and didn't take his eyes of his cards, as he was still trying to concentrate on his game. Demyx then developed a huge smile and shouted, at the top of his voice. "I'LL PLAY!" this made the Nymph even angrier, as no one was still giving her any attention.

Xion then looked around. There was still no sign of her red hair friend. She began to worry as he was never late for kitchen duty. Mainly, because he would have 12 hungry nobodies after him, if he wasn't down on time. "Xigbar?" she question sweetly. "Have you seen Axel? It's his turn to make breakfast today." The raven haired girl smiled hoping that that the 'old pirate' would know of his whereabouts.

"Sorry Poppet. I haven't seen him since last night, when he was talking to Saix about something. You could always ask X-face." He said not realizing, like everybody else in the room that Saix had entered the kitchen, and was sitting down at the table.

"Xigbar I would prefer it if you used my real name." Saix said, making everyone jump, and turn to face the 'second-in-command'. No one knew how he managed to get in there without being spotted. Marluxia was looking across the other side of the room the whole time, and hadn't noticed him. He felt rather stupid for not noticing, and chose not to question the seventh member, as Saix had most likely notice that Marluxia was starting across the room. Xion and Demyx slightly hid their faces, as they had both been at the receiving end of the blue haired man's rage yesterday. Which they didn't want a repeat of.

Luxord waved it off and went back to his card game. He did like Saix, but he didn't really care if he was in the room or not. Larxene and Xigbar had annoyed expressions on their faces, as they both hated it went Saix ruined their fun. But a Xigbar soon put a smirk on his face. "Ok whatever you say... Isa."

Saix gave him an odd look. If anyone called him that he would rip their heads off, as he was not that person anymore, and didn't like to be reminded of it. He would only allow Axe to call him that, but only if he was in good mood. But unfortunately, Xigbar was still a higher ranking member to him, and the Superior trusted him more. So he just sigh "you know what I meant."

"As if, you always let Axel call you that. So why not your Superior's?" Xigbar spat back, with all the other member's in the kitchen wondering if they were going to have a fight, again.

"Because you are a sarcastic little pirate, who doesn't know when to keep your mouth shut."

"That doesn't mean anything and you know it."

Saix placed his left hand on his head and rubbed his eyes. His head was still burning from the transformation last night, and soon realized he needed to sleep as well. But first he needed to get Xigbar off of his back. "Well alright then, at least I don't freak out whenever I hear the word: Terra"

"Oh shut up, X-face." Xigbar ended the conversation there before going to sit down, at his allocated place.

Demyx gulped before he spoke. He wanted to eat, but the chef was nowhere to be seen, so he quickly opened his mouth. "Saix? I have you seen Axel? It's his turn to make breakfast."

"Great, just great." Saix said under his breath in a frustrated and annoyed voice. He hadn't had chance to check the router this week, and didn't get chance to change the order. He could feel the anger rise up on him again, but that was replaced by a sort of panic. He had never had after effects before, and he could feel he was about to smack Demyx across the face. Instead he stood up walked over to were the cupboards were.

"Hey wereax. It's Axel turn today, why the hell are you cooking breakfast?" Larxene moaned, as she was getting anger with the fact Axel had managed to skip kitchen duty again.

"Because I said, I would make breakfast today, as he helped me with my paper work last night. Now who was down stairs first?" Luxord slowly raised his hand, and wished he hadn't. As it only got Saix angrier. Nobody liked it when he came down first. As the first person down stairs got to pick what they were all having for breakfast. "Let me guess full English?" Saix already knowing the answer. He rolled his eyes and began getting out all of the food needed for the Breakfast. He just wished he had just went and got Axel up. Even though he owned him, Saix still dreaded making and English breakfast for 14 people.

This was going to be hell.

8 am: in the kitchen...

(Order of table seating: Xemnas at the head of the table. Then 2,4,6,8,10,12,14 to his right. Then 3, 5,7,9,11,13 to his left)

The kitchen in the castle that never was, was now filled with 11 nobodies. The absent nobodies where, as always: Xemnas, Vexen and Axel which was quite usual as they were always late for breakfast. Saix had been slaving and chatting for an hour and a half, so that breakfast could be ready on time. As Saix was cooking Xaldin, Lexaeus and Zexion were trying their hardest to block out the noise that the other members were making. They couldn't stand that Xigbar was too lazy to walk and see Luxord. No, he had to shout from behind Zexion to talk to him. The amount of times Zexion thought of putting Terra in front of his smug face, was countless. Xaldin and Lexaeus held their usual face expressions of emptiness. But even a dusk could tell that they where pissed off with Xigbar.

As Xigbar, Demyx and Luxord were shouting at each other for tonight's poker game, Marluxia and Larxene were flirting as usual. It was never ending, which was unfortunate for Roxas and Xion, who had to sit next to them. Although all the members thought their flirting was just a cover for Marluxia being gay. Which Larxene and Marluxia just took no notice of, although it just gave them more reason to take over the damn Organization. Roxas and Xion on the other hand were just talking about going up to the clock tower after work, so they could eat lots of sea-salt ice cream. Both of the Keyblades wielders, had no idea that Saix was listening in. He had nothing better to do. Plus he hated the two of them, so any chance he got he would use for black mail if needed.

Just then Vexen walked through the door with is goggles still on and his lab coat, which was covered in black soot, leading to him getting huge laughs from Xigbar. "Oh be quite!" he huffed as he walked past the older nobody.

"Oopsy-daisy" II quickly commented before pulling his chair out as he was about to sit down. Everyone turn to face Vexen as he yelped as he hit the floor. Then the whole room burst into laughter, as Vexen lay on the fool, even Saix laughed a little.

"Do you think that was FUNNY?!" Vexen said as he got up.

"Funny? As if. It was hilarious." Xigbar sneered.

"That's it! I refuse to sit next to this outrageous man! All he ever does..." As Vexen was ranting and raging about how sloppy Xigbar was, Saix was beginning to get frustrated. This happened on a daily basis, but something inside Saix was beginning to snap. He had a night from hell. He had transformed into a wolf, and was 'worrying' about the rage he had felt. He had just taking Axel job as chef. Plus he had to listen to XIII's and XIV's consenter rabbiting.

All of a sudden there was a loud THUD! Saix smacked the fish slice on to the counter making the whole room silent as it was so loud. Without turning around he spat, in the sharpest and coldest of tones ever. "Would all of you SHUT THE HELL UUPPP!" all 21 eyes were staring at Saix he turned around with eyes full of rage. Not even Xigbar dare to chat back in the state he was in.

"VEXEN! If you don't shut up and sit down, I am GOING to make the rest of your NON-EXITENCES A LIVING HELL!" Vexen quickly did as he was told and sat down. "Now, I have just ABOUT HAD IT! If I hear one more PEEP out of ANY OF YOU, every single last one of you will be going on MISSIONS, EVERYDAY or the REST OF THE YEAR! Without ANY TIME OFF!" Saix screamed before turning around and carrying on with the cooking. He rubbed his head as he only increased his headache. Making him feel a lot more wore.

The rest of the Organization sat silently in the kitchen for about 15 minutes before the Superior came in. When the sliver haired man came into the kitchen, for the first time ever, it was silent. No one dare speak, or even greet the Superior as Saix was still in the room. Xemnas looked oddly at his lesser members, they were never quite. What had happened?

"Saix? Why is everyone so quite?" Xemnas questioned as took his seat.

Before Saix answered Xigbar opened his mouth. "Cause our second-in-command lost the plot."

"I didn't know Saix sounded like an old pirate" a voice came from the entrance to the door. Axel was standing their smirking as usual. To which he got a odd glare from both Saix and Xigbar.

"Xigbar, Axel be quite" Xemnas said before placing his attention back on to Saix. "Carry on"

Axel took his place before Saix began. But a he simple said "they wouldn't shut up." Xemnas gave a small chuckle and allowed everyone to speak again. Even though he had a cruel and evil nature, Xemnas was starting to get creped out by the silence. He then ordered Saix to place the food on the table and sit down. As he did so all of the members, aside from Xemnas and Saix, lunged into the table to get to the food first. Saix just shook his head, at how stupid and careless the other nobodies could be.

As the mad rushed calmed down everyone went back to the same level of noise that had set Saix into a rage. He still like I, III, IV, V and VI couldn't bear the noise that they were making. But now Axel was there and he was shouting at Roxas and Xion, so that he could join in the conversation. It dazzled all the members how none of them had killed each other yet. But still they still could. Saix knew of a few members he didn't mine getting rid of. (Zexion, Roxas and the Puppet) still there was no point on thinking about what could be.

As Saix was in his own little day dream he didn't realise that someone was shouting his name. "Saix! Wereax! Ow! Bastard speak to me." Larxene had been trying to get his attention for 30 seconds now and she was being to feel her anger rise. She then raised her voice so that everyone would be able to her. "OW! Shut the hell up!" they all gave her a funny look as they didn't know what she was doing. "Saix! SAIX!"

Saix final snapped out of his day dream and looked at Larxene and wonder why the kitchen had turned silent again. "Saix you are finally listening. Pass the butter."

"You told us all to be quite for the butter" Roxas questioned.

"Yeah couldn't it have been a little more important!" Axel mocked.

Larxene just stared at Saix before repeated, the statement. Still not allowing anyone to talk. "Pass the butter."

"Axel is closer why didn't you ask him?" Saix moaned tying not to get mad.

She laughed slightly. "Well I would have if you hadn't have taken his role as cook. So just give me the bloody butter."

Saix just sigh and picked up the butter before gently throwing it to Larxene. But to his surprise the Nymph didn't catch it. She had to duck as it was going straight for her head. After it went passed her there was a loud cracking sound, as the butter had hit the wall. As all the nobodies looked to what VII had done, everyone's mouth dropped slightly, including the Superior's. Saix wasn't paying much attention as he was glad that Larxene was no longer bothering him. But he caught a glimpse of Axel staring at him, with a shocked looked.

"What are you staring at Axel?"

**Ok done. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was long but hope you enjoyed it. Also I hoped I kept all the Charter's well in Character. Please tell me what you thought of the chapter as all comments are welcome.**

**To be Continued...**


	3. Chapter 2: Can't Hide What's Inside

**Afraid to Loss Control**

**Chapter 2: Can't Hide What's Inside**

As Saix didn't get an answer he looked in the same direction that all the other members where looking in. Saix eyes widened as he saw what the other nobodies saw: A massive whole in the wall. He had done that? How on earth could he have possible created such a thing with butter? He only throw it gently, it wasn't like he had lobbed it at her. A small chuckled then filled the atmosphere, as Xigbar was laughing. To be honest Xigbar never thought that Saix was that strong. It had to be an illusion from Zexion. There was no way that moon man could have done something like that.

"Hey Zexy! You can stop the illusion now!" but nothing happened.

Zexion then turned his head slightly to look at the Freeshooter. He simply said "What illusion?" the Cloaked Schemer was just as shocked as everyone else. This made Saix worry even more.

Saix secretly had hoped that it was a prank that Zexion was playing on him. As both of them had never like each other, and would embarrass or humiliate each other at any given moment, but no. It was actually what he had done. By his own strength. Or... the wolf's. Saix looked at his hands worryingly. There was no way it was him. He could feel the anger pilling up, as Larxene had kept on repeating his name, so he must have snapped. Snapped like crazy! He had never done anything like this before, well not what he could remember anyway. There were times when Demyx, or Roxas, would push him to the limit and he would end up smashing a room to shreds. But the thing was, he couldn't remember if he done it or not. But this time, he saw the damage. He knew it was him. Also this time he didn't have Lea/Axel to tell him it was alright, as they were in a room full of people that didn't know his secret. All the blued hair nobody could do was say, "Oh crap." In the quickest and concern tone he could muster as a nobody.

Roxas just stared at the whole, with a raised eyebrow, and commented before anyone else could. "No kidding" his ocean eyes were trying to convince his brain what he had seen was real. Even if they refused to believe it, it was staring at them right in the face. Saix: the teacher's pet, Superior's lap dog, second-in-command, up tight, don't-do-anything-fun Saix had done this. Destroyed a wall! What had happened to him?

Saix looked at his hands again, and without even realizing it, he was speaking out loud. "I never had after effects before..."

"What was that?" Demyx said, as he was sitting next to the divider, and heard what he had said.

"Nothing!" Saix quickly said. Trying to forget it and wishing that nobody else heard what he had just said.

Demyx pouted before carrying on. "No, you said: I never had..." Demyx was then cut off by the red head sitting opposite him, who had also kicked him.

"Hey Demy! I think you must be hearing things. Cause I didn't hear it. Man, you must be getting old." Axel said getting a few laughs from Xigbar, and Luxord. Of course Axel had hear what he said, more than likely Zexion, Vexen and Lexaeus also heard him. But they didn't question anything. Although Zexion and Lexaeus seemed quite, and not paying any attention. Axel new that the Cloaked Schemer, and the Silent Hero would use anything against Saix. So decided to keep a close eye on them and see what followed.

"No Axel! I heard what I heard! And he said he never had any after affects before."

"Well, I didn't hear anything. Zexion, Lexaeus, what about you?" Axel said prying that they didn't hear what Isa had just said. The two nobodies just shook their heads; this made Saix seem a little less tensed at the fact they didn't hear it. "Well then you need to get your ears tested. Got it memorized?"

Demyx gave him a hard stare. The kitchen was still silent as they all looked at the Superior who was still looking at the wall. The brick wall, which had a gapping whole in it, because of butter! Butter of all things, yet Saix had done it. It didn't really add up. He knew that VII was strong, but not as strong as that. There had to be a reason behind it, his behaviour over the past week, was odd. As he was angrier than usual. But nothing really out of place. He and Axel, had been spending more time together. This made the Superior shiver slightly, as he didn't want to lose one of his vessels to something as common as friendship. He would have to think on this, but for the time being he would have to think on what to do with his second in command.

Xemnas stood up, and looked at Saix. "VII. I'm a sure you have more paper work to be getting on with." With that Saix stood up and left the room. He was so relived to get out of that hell hole. Xemnas then turned to Axel. "Well, Axel. As you seemed to get off of kitchen duty, and can't stop yourself from talking. You can fix the mess Saix had made; consider it your mission for the day. Also you can wash up, and cook dinner tonight." Xaldin then had a sly smile on his face, as it was his turn to cook dinner tonight. Then Xemnas walked out of the room and teleported to another part of the castle. As soon as they realized the Superior was gone, the other members quickly followed his example as they didn't want to help with the washing up. Which left Axel in the kitchen: with all the washing up, and a huge hole to fill. He huffed as he hated getting stuck with the stupid and icky jobs of the Organization.

Axel didn't even notice that two of the members were still in the kitchen. He just started cleaning up the plates, and moving around them. The nobodies in question were Roxas and Xion, who were a little concern with Axel. They knew it was probably nothing, but he had managed to get Saix to do the cooking! That was quite impressive, as he had never changed the cooking router once, in the entire time they had been in the Organization. Plus Xemnas had made him clean up the hole, which wasn't fair as Saix had done it.

"Axel?" Roxas said making the Flurry of Dancing Flames drop a plate. Axel just blinked a turned to see his two best friends sitting at the table. "Hey Axel you ok?" Roxas asked.

"Yeah, of course. I mean it's not every day I get off of a mission!" he smirked placing the plated in the sinking, filled with hot soapy water.

"Axel, if you like we can do the washing up, as you get started on the fixing the wall!" Xion smiled. She liked hanging out with Axel and Roxas. But yesterday Roxas and Xion were on their own as Axel had to somewhere to be. So she wanted to make up for lost time.

"Oh guy's where would I be without you?" Axel said putting his hand on his chest. Where his heart used to be.

Roxas placed both of his hands on his neck, and breathed. "Probably a dusk!" the comment made the trio laugh, as that was true. Even though Saix was Isa nobody, he was still second in command, and they had grown distant from each other. So he had to obey with whatever Xemnas had told him, even if it was turning him into a dusk. Which made him wonder had Isa still kept the promise, on always looking out for him? He didn't have a clue, but he could talk to Saix later as he didn't have to go on a mission.

The two younger nobodies then went straight to the task at hand, so that they weren't late, for Saix's mission report and sign up. Xion took off her black gloves and placed her hands into the soapy water. But she quickly took them out as the water was scolding hot. "Axel don't you even put any cold water in the bowl?"

"Sorry Xion, I'm just used to the heat, after getting my powers." he explained, from behind a cupboard where the wall paste was kept. The reason why they had this was that Xaldin and Vexen was never a good mix, if left alone. Only the other day Xaldin was after Vexen as he had "borrowed" one of his lances for and experiment.

Roxas rolled his eyes, Axel had explained to him before, by putting his hand on a burning hot ring, on top of the oven. As Demyx tried to do it, well it wasn't a pretty sight. "Hey Axel, you want to come to the clock tower today, as you weren't there yesterday?" Roxas asked.

"Yeah why weren't you there?" Xion said placing her hands in the new, a hell of a lot colder, water.

"I was, helping Saix. He needed some help documented all of the missions." Axel lied.

"But I thought you were doing that after dinner?" Xion questioned, in a concerned voice.

"There was a lot you know." Axel said having a little inkling that XIV and XIII were catching on with his lies. He didn't like lying to them, but he made a promise to Isa not to say anything. As well as Saix, he wasn't about to foil his trust. "But yeah, I'm coming to day."

"Great that means you're buying." Roxas explained, while putting the last of the plates in the cupboard.

Axel smirked. He knew that would be the cost if he wasn't there. As that was the deal the three of them had made up. Sitting on top of the tower of twilight town was the best. He loved spending time with them, as it reminding him, of how he and Saix used to be when they were somebodies. He smile at the time were they had just got throw out of Radiant Garden castle, which was his fault. Then to cheer Isa up, he brought them both ice cream to make up for it. Good times, good times.

"So Axel we'll see you later as some of us, have important missions to attend to." Roxas said, with both he and Xion waving at Axel.

11: 54 am...

Saix was sitting quietly in the darkness, of his room. Even since he was bitten, he had always found the dark somewhat comforting. As to when he was Isa he couldn't stand the dark, as it was crawling with beasts and nightmares. He allowed the Darkness to smother him, as he lent against the cold white wall. His bed, which he was sitting on, was rather comfortable. Saix had never really had the time to relax, he was either busy with paper work, or running around after the other members and the Superior. This was just the little time that Xemnas had allowed him to have off. It was most likely due to the fact, of the morning's wall incident. But the divider really couldn't care less what the rest was, as long as he was getting the time off. It gave Saix a chance to think though what had happened, and make a good excuse to the Superior. He never usual lied to the Superior, unless it was about Axel slacking off all the time. He didn't really know if he ever believed him, but he knew for certain that Xemnas was not allowed to know his secret. No one must ever know.

As Saix was just about to come to a good lie, that would save his skin, there was a loud knock at the door. Saix rolled his yellow eyes and cleared his throat. "Come in" He glared at the door as it slowly crept open. The bright light from the hall stung his eye's a little, but he chosen to ignore it. As best he could. "Axel, what do you want?" He asked coldly.

"God Saix, don't you have a light in here?" the red haired man said, plainly ignoring the question.

"It helps me think. Now what do you want?" Saix spat gritting his teeth together.

Axel gulped. That was the reason why he had come to see him about his temper. That had resulted in him fixing the wall in the kitchen for the rest of the morning. He closed the door behind him, cutting of the light from the room. Axel fumbled his way, to Saix's bed. Where he sat next to his sombodies, best friend, then sigh. "Because of that! Your temper got out of control today, and you nearly told everyone your secret."

"Axel it's not like I could help it! I told you something was up. Then you told me to forget about and said '_Got it memorized?_" Saix said as he pointed his index finger to the side of his forehead. Coping what the other nobody, did on a daily basis.

"Yeah but I didn't know you were gunna break a brick wall!" Axel paused as he was trying his hardest to not make Saix get ever madder.

"Axel. I didn't even throw it that hard. There was no way that was even possible."

"But we all saw it. We know that Zexy didn't do it, so sorry Isa, it had to be you."

"OK Axel! I get it! I lost my temper, and it was an after affect! Yes that has never happened before, but it is done now!" Saix informed him, with the trying to hide that rage that was slowly building up.

"Saix, it's ok. You just need to not get worked up tha..." Axel was then cut off by his friend screaming at him.

"WHY DON'T YOU TRY IT THEN! IT IS TAKING OVER MY HEAD!AND THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT" Saix screamed with all his might. Not caring if Xemnas had heard his shouts of pure rage.

"I'm sorry. Your right I don't understand how it feels. But I do know what it can do. Sorry."

Saix placed his hands, so that they would cover his face. This time he knew it was coming, the rage. The uncontrollable rage, that didn't seem to want to leave him, he could hear it, the growl and the howling inside of him. The real monster what was trying to take his body, as use it was its own. Saix didn't know what to do. He was never told how to control it, or help it. But with Axel's talking, it just made his rage burn with every word spoken. He didn't want to hurt Axel, even though it would have always been better if he had told him to get out of his life the day they met. But those memories of all what had happened. Just made Saix even angrier. "It's not your fault Axel" Saix commented, still burring his face in his hands.

"Saix. You need to listen before you try to kill me. Got it memorized?" Axel said in a smooth calming voice. Saix took his hands away from his face and turned to where Axel was sitting. Whenever he said that, he knew it was going to be difficult to not want to kill him. "I think... you should tell Xemnas."

"NNNNOOOOO!" Saix roared with rage and disbelief that Axel would even suggest that. "I can't TELL HIM! No one can KNOW! No one can EVER, FIND OUT! Do you understand me AXEL!"

"I do understand you, but it's getting out of hand. You destroyed a wall with your anger, and you didn't even know that you were angry. Isa, I just wanna help! That's all I have ever wanted to do." Axel protested. He didn't want to see his friend suffer anymore. So he knew he had to tell Xemnas before it escalates any further.

"Well you can help by leaving." Saix said sharply whiles pointing at the door. He knew if Axel said anything he would take all his rage and use it against Axel. No matter how much he had annoyed him, he never wanted to hurt him. But the wolf inside of him was pushing him to do it. To Murder his only friend and be gone with it but he couldn't do that. "LEA! I said GET OUT!"

Axel stood up and glared and Saix. He didn't understand what was wrong with him. There had never been after effects and he didn't know what to do. He shook his head. "You know... I don't know of any way I can help you anymore." Axel than quickly left the room with another word. The light from opening the door seemed so bright for both of them, but Axel walked though the light, and then stopped. "I think it has gone on for long enough. But if you still need my help, you know where to find me." then he slammed the door behind him.

Saix once again leant calmly on the wall, in the darkness of his room. He allowed it to once more, smother him, in its arms, where there would be no way out. He had to stop doing this. Pushing Lea away like this. He had always done it, and it had always resulted in something bad happening to one of them. The last time they died, and many times before that, he had got bitten. Whenever he pushed him away, it seemed like he didn't care; that their past friendship meant nothing to Saix. But it did. But Saix knew he couldn't show it, as it would have grave consequences for both to them.

_No. I can't let this thing win! It won't! I won't allow it! _Saix mind was screaming at him, as the anger crawl its way into his mind, eating the very last piece of Isa in Saix mind. This meant eliminate Axel. He couldn't do that. The best thing for both of them as for the Luna Divider to keep his distance from the red head, as he didn't know what would follow if he carried on with placing the secret on his friends shoulder. 

Less where in that castle that never was...

"Why are we even here? It's not like it was our fault Saix went crazy is it. As if, he probable had enough of Zexion scaring the crap out of him, with his emo look." Xigbar complained, getting a disapproving look from Zexion. He hated these meeting especially with the original six members of the Organization. He may have been the only there, other than Xemnas that new the true purpose of the Organization, but he was the one who never took anything seriously, giving him yet another reason to hate the people he was sitting with. As it was just the six of them sitting in the meeting room, he couldn't pull funny faces at Luxord, or try to annoy Larxene. Without them he could never get through a whole meeting without falling asleep. Plus the matter at hand was about Saix. Oh this was gunna be fun...

"Xigbar no one is blaming you. Stop acting like a child." Vexen hissed he hated these meeting just as everybody else did. He would much rather get back to his experiments.

"Oh shut reindeer." Xaldin said, whilst resting his head on his hand.

"Great now you have picked up that nickname. The thing's I do, which just get thrown back in face." Vexen snorted back.

"You three are so childish." Zexion said under his breath. He was beginning to even wonder why his parents worked at the palace in Radiant Garden. If they didn't he wouldn't be where he was now. "There is no point in arguing" he commented a bit more loudly, so that everyone could hear.

"Yeah, what do you know emo? All you ever do is sit around in your room and not talk to people. God you are so boring." Xigbar groaned. Then he quickly pointed to Lexaeus, who was calmly sitting in his chair, ignoring the point less bickering. "Just like Lexaeus over there. You two do shit all."

"What do you do then Xigbar?" Lexaeus snapped his eyes opened and stared right into Xigbar's, golden eye. "As far as anyone is aware, you just lose all your munny to Luxord."

Xigbar gritted his teeth together. He hated all of these people. Even when they all had hearts he hated them. There was no way the poor man could get rid of them. Xaldin shook his head slightly, he slowly yawned "He's got a point there"

"Gentleman." Xemnas said in the less annoyed tone out of the six of them. Even though he had become tired and frustrated from the arguing, he wanted to get straight to the point before any of the other nobody's disturbed them. He was quick surprised that none of them had question why he got Xigbar to pull them out of their missions. Or why the meeting between the six had even been arranged. "We are not here to talk about your individual scraps. We are here to asses Saix recent behaviour."

"What you mean; the only thing I can think of is that he has gone nuts!" Xigbar interrupted.

"We don't know that for sure. But I could always do some tests on him." Vexen smiled evilly.

Xemnas rage was going to get the better of him, if the member's didn't stop talking. "No. The reason why I have called only II to VI here is that; we can all tell that Saix is keeping something from us. It also appears that Axel is in on it as well." The room then went quite as Zexion and Lexaeus gave each other odd looks. They knew what he was on about as they had heard what the seventh member of the Organization said at breakfast. They both thought it was rather odd that Axel would lie, when he would most likely get caught. It was very strange behaviour even for the pyro.

Zexion placed his left hand over his face before he spoke. It was a habit that he, and the other member, wished he would break, as it was difficult for anyone to hear him. "Demyx was right. I heard what Saix said, and Axel was trying to cover for him. Every badly..." the cloaked schemer trailed off. He didn't really like talking much, unless it was just him and another two people.

"WHAT! You didn't think to say anything. Bloody hell, Zexion." Vexen annoying said.

"So Axel was covering up for him, umm... this must mean, Xigbar, it is a lot more serious then we first thought." Xemnas calmly said. It must be something to do with Isa and Lea, not Saix and Axel. Or the red head wouldn't have been so keen to help out the second in command. He won't allow the idiot to take Xehorant's vessel, even if it meant showing Saix his true purpose in the process.

"What do you want us to do?" Xaldin plainly said.

"We all need to keep a close eye on him, and Axel. Who knows what this is, or what it could result in."

"WHAT!" Xigbar interrupted. "You want us to spy on Saix. He destroyed a wall, by throwing butter at it! What do you think he will do to us if he FIND'S OUT?!" Xigbar no matter how loyal he was to Xemnas, he didn't want his head to get crushed by the lethal claymore. Now way was he going to be a victim of that.

Xaldin pouted again "Shut up, you big baby." Xaldin wasn't scared of Saix. He was probably the only one who didn't fear the second in command, beside Xemnas and Axel.

"He does hate all of us." Lexaeus spoke out: just a plain as ever. He was on a roll today. He had spoken twice in the same day, which was very rare for the fifth member.

"I agree with Lexaeus and Xigbar." Vexen whimpered. "He will do something unspeakable if he finds out we are spying on him. There is no way that we will carry on, our non-existing lives, if he finds out." his legs were shaking with fear. Saix scared the shit out of him. Even when they collected their missions from him, he could swear Saix looked like he was about to swallow him whole.

"He's not that terrifying." Zexion commented before Xemnas slammed his fist against the arm of his tall white chair, forcing the other member to keep their mouths shut.

"You will do what I say. We will all keep an eye on both of them. But I must warn you Saix, is the one who does most of the spying for Xigbar and I, so therefore he will work out what we are doing, if any of you slightly slip up. Axel on the other hand, won't have a clue." Xemnas informed them. It was going to be very difficult to trick Saix, but he needed to know the full extent of what was going on. Was he and Axel planning to over throw the Organization? No definitely not. But what was it? The white haired man was a bit confused, as Saix had always told him, what was going on. He trusted him almost as much as he trusted Xigbar. But there was something there that Xemnas just couldn't place. Was it the fact he still had a piece of Isa left in him? Or was it something more? The white haired man quickly thought back thought both Saix and Axel's time in the Organization, and placed a type of pattern. They were together but only on certain times of the mouths. He didn't know what it was, but he was going to find out sooner or later. But then a thought sprang to mind. "What did he exactly did he say, Zexion?"

"He said 'I never had after effects before" with that simple comment Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin and Vexen all had weird looks on their faces.

"What in the world could that mean?" Xigbar shouted in a sarcastic way, as he found it so funny, that Zexion was taking it seriously.

Vexen placed his hand to his head and thought a moment, before he spoke. "Has it ever dawn on any of us, what Saix was doing yesterday. I would gladly bet Luxord a thousand mummy, it has something to do with that"

Xemnas nodded in a agreement with IV, but he couldn't do anything until they found out some information about Saix. "Ok we all agree, that very week until we find out what is going on, we will report back here." the other five member agreed by slowly nodded their heads, a part from Vexen who was still a little afraid, with spying on Saix; and Axel. He would probably explode him from the inside out if he knew he was spying on him. Xemnas then slowly commented "Dismissed" before a black cloud swamped his body, then disappeared into to it.

Xigbar then smiled. "Good luck guys! We are all going to need it..."


	4. Chapter 3: Adding Fuel To the Fire

**Afraid to Lose Control**

**Chapter 3: Adding Fuel to the Fire.**

It had been two weeks since the 'butter incident' as that was what Xigbar and Luxord called it. All the nobodies in the castle; didn't mention it once since it had happened, as they were scared of what Saix would do to them. There was no telling what he would do; if they even spoke of the date. So it was just called the butter incident for safety purposes. In the Grey Area there sat three of the Organizations members. Zexion was sitting in one of the chairs, with is nose stuck in a book. He often did this, as he didn't really like to socialize with any of the other members. He didn't personally think they were worth the effort. Although he did prefer Vexen to all of the other members, as his somebody was Even. Even had been like a father Ienzo, his somebody. Although he had never been the best father figure, but he was the one he could put up with, because of that. Ienzo had strangely found a Father figure in Xemnas somebody, Xehanort, but that was gone the second they were both nobodies. Also in the room was Lexaeus, he was just sitting there quietly. He hadn't spoke to anyone in a whole week! This was odd even for him, as he spoke about 3 times per week. This had begun to worry Demyx as he liked to speak Lexy, as he was the only one, other than Zexion and Xaldin, that he would talk to. The room was silent as both of the nobodies minded their own business.

The other member in the Grey Area was Saix. All of the other members were on their mission that he had sent them on. But today for some unknown reason Xemnas had decided that Lexaeus and Zexion were not to do any missions. It was odd as he thought Xemnas was obsessed with building Kingdom Hearts, which he needed every member to help with, but apparently not. That had been happening a lot recently; only three days ago Xigbar was relived off duty, and was bugging him to go out drinking. Saix hated drinking. He thought it was because of an incident that he and Axel had when they were sombodies, that had put him off. Yet Axel would still drink like a horse. The again about 10 days ago, Vexen and Xaldin were off of duty as well. It puzzled the Lunar Divider, as there had to be a reason for it but what?

Saix shook it off, as he had more important things to be getting on with. He was sat at the table with a mountain of paper work to get though. He was sure glad that Xigbar was not second in command anymore, as he couldn't stand the thought of the work not being done properly. With the way the Freeshooter acted, all the nobodies could see why. Saix was glued to all the papers on the table, and blocked out the slight breathing from the Silent Hero, and the Cloaked Schemer. After his last transformation, Saix had developed amazing hearing. He could hear what everyone was saying at dinner, Even Roxas and Xion who were at the other end of the table. He didn't say anything to Axel, as he may over react and tell Xemnas, as he had threatened to do only the other day. He softly sigh as their breathing was becoming irritating.

He wanted to scream at them to stop making a noise, but he knew he would question if he did so. But before he could leave; there was a plain tone of voice calling to him. "Saix, where are you going?" He turned around to see Zexion had taken the book away from his face.

"Do I need to answer that?" the blue haired man firmly replied.

The Cloaked Schemer shrugged his shoulders. "Well no. But I want to talk to you." That was odd, they hated each other why in his non-existent life would Zexion what to talk to him?

"What do you want?" Saix commented still not moving from the entrance of the door.

"Come here so we can have a proper chat."

"I am very comfortable here. Anyway haven't you got a book to read?"

"If only, no we need to discuses something with you." Zexion said with a hand gesture, which was reference to Lexaeus. Saix just rolled his eyes and took a seat opposite Zexion. He really badly wanted to smack him around the face, but resisted as he would probable show him and image of his former self. That was something he didn't wanted to be reminded of.

"So anyway Saix." Zexion said lifting his hand over his mouth again. "I wanted to talk to you about the wall."

"The wall? Zexion you really are diving my patience." Saix questioned gritting his teeth together.

"Well not only the wall, your temper mainly, and how you managed to break the wall. It has come to my attention that it had something to do with your temper am I right?" Saix took a slight gulp. Why in Kingdom Hearts was Zexion talking about it. It was over; he hadn't heard a single word of it since he shouted at Axel. In fact he hadn't apologized for that either. He made a mental note to do so.

"I have always had a sort temper Zexion. Even since I was a somebody. You should know that by now."

Then for the first time in 7 days 11 hours 13 minutes and 31 seconds Lexaeus spoke. "Yes, but how to gain it. That is what is wrong."

"You think there is something wrong with me?" Saix question with no emotion at all.

"Yes" they both replied in unison, as if they had rehearsed it. But Zexion continued, as the Silent hero remained silent. "No one has ever seen you release that much anger and aggression, well at least not in such short of time frame. You usual can go from 0-60 in about a second, with your anger. But you went 0-117 in under that time. So I just wanted to know where you got all that anger from."

Saix frowned at the sixth member. He hated him, and he could feel his golden eyes, turn slightly more orange as he allowed the rage to spread. How dare he? How dare even think that he was going to tell him? "WHAT ANGER?!" Saix said gritting his teeth together.

Zexion then smiled under his hand he could see the rage building up with in the divider, and he had to push it out. "There. You're doing it again."

"Zexion, unless you want to become one of Vexen's experiments I suggest you SHUT THE FUCK UP!" he roared.

Zexion tilted his head at Lexaeus, who told him to carry on by nodding gracefully. "Gladly. If you answer my question."

"No! I'm not GOING to! NOW SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP! You ENO FREAK!" Saix could hear how tense Zexion was getting. So much more not being scared of me. Saix had to then quickly shut his eyes as he felt the wolf crawly it's way to the surface. He clutched his fist tight, as he could feel his Claymore wanting to be allowed to kill someone. He then opened a dark corridor and moved to where he was sitting previously and collected the pile of papers. He then stormed out of the Grey Area, with the pile of work in his arms. Before Saix had left however Zexion picked up a scent. It was an odd scent and one he recognized but he couldn't think where. He shrugged it off though and turned his attention to Lexaeus.

Lexaeus rolled his eyes. Saix was over reacting a bit. He didn't understand how that could have got him angry. But it gave him a delightfully conclusion. "Zexion, we knew he was keeping something from the Organization, and it has to be something to do with his rage." Lexaeus said speaking for the three time that day.

"Yes it is odd. But Lexaeus if you speak to him later don't mention what we heard him say. We don't won't him to know we are spying on him." The fifth member responded by nodding his head. Zexion felt a little uncomfortable. He got his anger out clear enough, but there was no need for swearing. Saix only swore at Demyx or Xigbar. Never at anyone else, well maybe Axel. But Lexaeus was right, it would help them tremendously "Anyway... we should report it to Xemnas in today's meeting or he will kill us."

The two nobodies then hear Xigbar's annoying little voice, from down the corridor. _"Hey X-Face how's it hanging?" _they heard a mighty growl, then a huge thud. After that the room was silent. Xigbar then came into the Grey Area holding the right side of his head with both hands. He sat were Saix was just sitting and whined in pain. "Don't speak... to... Saix!" he then rested his head on the chair and shut his eye.

"Oh that was my fault." Zexion said picking up the book he had read before Xigbar came back.

"WHAT! I got hit in the head for it!" Xigbar yelled at him. He now knew that he was going to have a headache for months. Getting hit by that Claymore of Saix's was one of the most painful things that Xigbar had ever been through. Set aside for Terra: taking out his eye, and giving his a scare down his face.

Zexion turned the page slowly before speaking again. "It was all to do with the cause." He still didn't look at Xigbar. He knew that he would try to get it out of him in the last minute they had before the meeting began.

Xigbar looked at Lexaeus who still had his eyes closed. That dude never had any emotion in him, a lot like Xaldin and Saix. But Xigbar knew he could get some out of Zexion, if he got him anger enough to do so. Instead of interrogating him, for once, Xigbar teleported to the meeting room. Xigbar sat in the meeting room along with Vexen and Xaldin. He was still holding his head after the Saix attacked him. Even if he was over exaggerating a bit, but it did work for great conversation when the other three members arrived.

"Now have any of you, found anything out. As last week you didn't do anything, and used it as a excuse to get time off." Xemnas said as he appeared in the tallest chair.

"Well I got my skull caved in because Zexion couldn't keep his bloody mouth shut!" Xigbar explained.

Just a moment before V and VI had both enter the meeting room. Zexion shook his head, in a frustrated way. Even if it was true he made it a lot worse than it was. "True. But you didn't have to call him X-Face" This made Vexen grin a little. Zexion then continued. "Lexaeus and I asked him how he got angry so quickly, and he threatened me. So we concluded it was something to do with his increasing rage."

"So, looks like we're going to have to add fuel to the fire." Xaldin said quietly. "If we want to get answers."

Vexen then became very nervous again. He couldn't sit still as there was the fear; that Saix could appear in the room at any given moment. "Well, you know me. I'm not good with talking so you lot can do that."

"Oh, I see. The reindeer has turned into a chicken." Xigbar teased. Xigbar then stop himself from saying another word. He rolled his eye, and thought for a moment. This was the first time ever he had considered thinking in one of the meetings. Plus the result he was getting was pretty good. He glanced up at Xemnas. "Well Xaldin if it is fire you want. Why don't we fight fire with fire? Namely Axel. Or as he prefers to be called: Lea" a devilish grin then appeared on every members face. Axel why didn't they see it before. They all knew that Saix's only weak spot was Axel. They were best friends in a different life, and they had been rather close in this one. Even though Axel had Roxas and Xion, he still made time to talk to the Lunar Divider. Yes! This would go quite nicely to plan...

Another part in the Castel that never was...

Saix had know walked around the castle at least 9 times, had he still hadn't got rid of the anger, brewing inside of him. This wasn't normal; for one thing he didn't have any emotions. Then the other, it had never happened before. He had just started to calm down the day after he smashed the wall to pieces. But 13 days on he was developing the build up too quickly. The other members would all be back soon, and he couldn't allow any of them to see he had lost all control. Saix suddenly stop. He hit Xigbar! He pummelled his head with the Claymore. What the hell had he done? Now surly Xigbar was going to get him back. Saix then rubbed his eyes and started chanting out loud. "Oh, shit. I hit Xigbar! Oh shit, oh shit, shit shit." Saix kept repeating it to himself. He then clutched his fist together and swallowed hard. How the hell was he going to explain it to Xemnas? More than likely Xigbar was going to tell the Superior. But on the other hand, it may teach Xigbar not to call him X-Face or wereax anymore.

Just then a dark portal appeared in front of Saix who was still covering his eyes. Xion then step out of the portal and jumped when she saw the divider. She didn't dare look at him, as he would most likely scream at her again. But she couldn't help but stay still. She could tell that he was angry, but it was a different type of anger. More like a worried anger, if they could get worried that was. Although he appeared in a vulnerable state, it was clear that he easily break her neck in two.

Xion cleared her throat to see if it would have any reaction him. Not surprisingly, it did. He removed his hands and gave her a death glare. Xion tried her hardest not to be at all bothered by it, but she couldn't escape those yellow devil eyes gleaming at her. "Hi sir." She said sheepishly before anything bad happened.

"What. Do. You. Want?" he said glaring down at the puppet. He knew that he had to start being more kinder to the puppet, as she was Le... Axel's friend. He had to stop doing that, he thought he would have stopped y now. But the state he was in he just couldn't even consider being nice.

"Nothing. Sorry sir, I'll go now" she said trying to get away as quickly as possible, but she was stopped then Saix put his arm to the side she was trying to leave. Her Ocean eyes then turn to horror, as she wasn't sure what he was going to do. She gulped and squeaked out. "yes sir?"

"If you wish to remain here, don't you ever speak to me again."

Xion nodded before running down to the Grey Area relived that she had escaped Saix from murdering her. As she ran down the corridors she bumped right into someone, causing them both to fall on to their backs. Xion rubbed her head and was glad to see it was Axel, rather than one of the other members. As not many of them really liked her that much. Like Larxene or Saix, who would gladly rip off her head.

"Axel!" she cried.

"Hey Xion, you ok?" he said with a tone that could be mistaken with concern. He helped her up off the ground and placed his hands on his hips.

She nodded slightly then gave up. There was no point in lying to him. He would soon realise that she was lying. "No. I ran into Saix a moment ago. He looked like he was about to slaughter me!" she finished her sentence with Axel rolling his eyes. About 3 minutes before hand, Axel had spoken to Xigbar. He told him what had happened with the Claymore, and how he treated Zexion and Lexaeus earlier that day. This was now becoming a real issue that Axel knew he couldn't handle alone. There was no way that both he and Saix could keep this up any longer. They were both becoming sloppy and careless with the secret, and it was starting to get harder lying.

"Look Xion. I'll speak to him; he is probable just in a bad mood that's all." Axel smiled trying to comfort her.

"No don't you will only make it worse." She pleaded.

"Right, right, right. I need to speak to him anyway. So I will only mention it ok?" with that Axel left Xion, in search for Saix.

Axel walked through the white deserted castle. He didn't really see the point in having such a huge castle for 14 people, well nobodies. But it did provide space if one needed a break from each other. That was more than often Saix who needed a break though. It was on a daily basis that Saix would have enough of the nobodies, but it had now been happening twice to three times a day, instead of the usual one. Even though it was Xemnas Castle, no one really saw him that often, this then created tension between Xigbar and Saix. As Xigbar was the number II, yet Saix was second in command they were always secretly competing for the right to be second in command. Because Axel had know Saix from when they were sombodies, he did prefer his friend to be in charge, but then again Xigbar was a lazy bastard that would let them all off. Well maybe not Saix as he never did any missions.

When Axel got to Saix door he paused. He thought back two weeks ago and remembered what he had said. '_You can help by leaving'_ did Saix really want that? Surly not, there was no way that Isa would ever mean it? Yet the hesitation was testing his faith in his friend. If he allowed Saix to carry on, screaming and raving at people, then the other member would discover his secret in no time. But if he did say something, it would most likely result in the loss of their friendship, because Axel didn't know how to handle the situation any more. He then slowly knocked on the door without thinking.

Saixs' door suddenly creaked its way opened to see a very tired Saix standing in the doorway. His yellow eyes looked more orange then usual and it looked like he was forcing his head up. What in all of Kingdom Hearts had he been doing? His eyelids also seemed, he was using all of this strength to keep them open. But Xion only saw him, like what, couldn't even be more than 10 minutes ago. What the hell had he done to himself?

"Isa, you ok?" Axel questioned with wide eyes.

Saix bowed his head before quietly saying "No" he then allowed Axel into the room. The light wasn't turned off for change. His room was the same lay out, with a desk covered in piles and piles of paper. There was no wonder Saix was tired, but Axel could tell that he hadn't touched the paper, in an about 4 hours.

"So Isa what's wrong? You tired? Has Xemnas been working you too hard again? Or does it have something to do with..."

"Lea! Stop!" Axel then was silent. Saix spoke in a very calm and gentle voice, which confused him, as it was Saix. Bossy barking Saix. But he allowed the blue haired man to speak. "I think you know what this is about. You must have spoken to Xigbar, and Zexion. You know exactly what is going on." Saix said annoyed that Axel was playing dumb. He had always hated it. Saix was not naive like the puppet, Demyx or Roxas, and could see straight though him.

Axel sigh. "Ok, yeah I know what you did too those two, and Xion. Man, Saix I'm being serious this is getting out of hand. You are not supposed to get show any signs for another week. We need to tell Xemnas. Like now!" Axel then filched slightly, as he saw Saix's yellow eyes peer right into Axel's. It was almost like he was peering into his soul.

"Say that again and you will end up like Xigbar." Saix spat coldly.

"But it is getting out of hand if you just..."

"Lea shut it!"

But if you just listen then I can expla..."

"AXEL! I said enough." Axel then mumbled a few words, so that Saix couldn't hear him very well. Even if his hearing had increased he couldn't stand it when people mumbled, so he blocked it out.

"Well you know what they say..." Axel said moving closer to the door. Reaching for the door knob, this was unnoticed by the Divider. "Actions speak louder than words." With that Axel ran out of the room right down the hall way. Unfortunately for Axel, Demyx had just mobbed the floor. Whenever the water freak did this, there were always places to break your back.

Axel was slipping and sliding down the corridor; he didn't even try to use the darkness to escape the water death trap. He just kept running trying not to fall and break his neck. As he was running he passed some of the members who were: Xion, Luxord, Xigbar, Zexion and Marluxia. He didn't even stop to laugh at the expression on the other nobodies faces as he heard a might roar "AXELLLLL!" Saix screamed with all his might, holding his claymore as he chased after him. Marluxia and Xigbar laughed as they knew Axel must have really pissed Saix off. Whereas Luxord and Xion just gazed to where the duo had disappeared; wondering what Axel might have done. Zexion on the other hand smelt something. It was that smell again, but this time it was more familiar. It was a smell that all of them had smelt before but only the Cloaked Schemer was the only one to picked up on it. It was a dog. He smelt a dog in the castle? What in all of Kingdom Hears was going on? They weren't allowed dogs, or pets for that matter, so why was it so strong. Zexion then glance a look at Xigbar, who had now stopped laughing. The Free shooter nodded at him, as if to say: "stage one completed" using Axel was a pretty good idea to get his rage out. Xigbar smiled at his handy work, as it was the best plan he had thought up in a long time.

Elsewhere Axel was running for his life...

Axel had made it all the way to where Xemnas room was. He had ran about half the length of the gigantic castle without being caught. The furthest anyone had got before was about 400 yards with Saix on their tail. He had beaten the new record, but celebrating would have to wait he still needed to get to Xemnas door, before he was hammered to death. As he got closer to the door, he suddenly slipped, then hit the door face first. Axel didn't have time to moan and worry about the pain; he just hoped that the Superior would answer. As if on cue, from down the hallway there was a growl as Saix appeared. Axel then gulped and started banging on number I's door rapidly. Just prying to everything he held dear that Xemnas would come to his rescue. As Saix drew closer, Axel leant on the door trying to get away from Saix. But unfortunately this whole corridor was blocked so that no one not even Xemnas could use a portal. Suddenly Axel fell on to his back. When he opened his eyes he saw the Superior glaring down at him. He sigh in relief that now Isa wouldn't kill him.

"What on earth are you doing?" Xemnas said in a calming but deathening tone.

The pyro was still on the ground and slightly thanking Xemnas, as he had saved his second life. He got up and turned to face the Superior. "Xemnas you see it is Saix?"

Xemnas then raised an eyebrow; he spotted Saix only meters away from the door so why hadn't he come to speak to him? "Carry on" Axel rubbed the back of his head, as he wasn't sure if he should now tell him, but it was better to get it out in the open.

"Well..." Axel then got shoved to the side slightly as Saix had pushed him away before he could finish what he was saying.

The blued haired man then explained "Axel here thinks the work is too much for me. Which it isn't; and he is trying to ask you if someone else could help me. I am of course alright on my own Superior, but he won't let it drop." Saix said trying to make it believable as possible. Which he couldn't as he was filled to the brink with panic.

The Superior rolled his eyes and shook his head slowly. He could tell that his second in command was lying to him, and that Axel actually wanted to tell him something, was a first. But he had to make it look like he wasn't catching on to the two nobodies, even if he was so close to finding out the truth. "Number VIII: do you really want to waste my time. Because if you do I'm sure that IX wouldn't mind giving up all of his missions for you?"

"No, Xemnas. You didn't even let me speak."

"Well you don't need to if you don't want that punishment, I suggest both of you leave now!" Axel then developed a hard scowl on his face. He turned around and started to walk the other way. Saix quickly bowed and walked quickly to Axel then grabbed his arm once they were out of the hearing rage of the Superior.

"Let me go Saix." Axel said frustrated and hurt that Saix had managed to lie is way out of telling Xemnas.

"No Listen. I think I have got it under control."

This then got his attention. "How? When?" Axel commented in disbelief.

"Does it matter; all I have to do is walk away if someone annoys me. That way there will be no blood spilt." Axel didn't like it. Not one bit. Saix had tried that before and it didn't end to well. That was probable why Marluxia stopped putting flowers in the windows of the Castle. Oh, and that's why Larxene didn't electrocute Him or Saix anymore. There so some advantages to his anger, but he had to calm it down. Axel sighs, as he knew he had to support Isa. After all it was his fault, even if Saix didn't blame him for it. Or that least always told him he didn't.

"OK, but if you haven't, and you are lying to me we have to go to see Xemnas deal?" Axel held out his hand. Of course the Lunar Divider was hesitant to take it, but he had to make Axel trust him. He shook his hand but Axel didn't let go. "Got it Memorized?" he finished and let go of his grip.

Little did the Flurry of Dancing Flames, and the Lunar Divider know; that Xemnas, with a little help from Zexion, were standing meters away from the two. Invisible by VI's power. They had heard everything, even if it wasn't explained in detail; they had finally got a straight answer. Saix had finally slipped up, and was going to pay the price for it. Sooner or later the two nobodies thought, they would find out their little secret. Even if it meant removing Axel from the picture.


	5. Chapter 4: Secret? What Secret?

**Afraid to Lose Control **

**Chapter 4: Secret? What Secret?**

Another 10 days had passed in the World that Never Was, along with the residence who lived in the Castle that Never Was. The tension between the members had all been quite high recently as, Xemnas had order Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus and Zexion to spy on both Saix and Axel. Which Xigbar also took it to mean, Roxas and Xion as well. Completely unaware this was even taking place was: Saix, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene, Roxas and Xion. This caused tension as Saix was growing suspicious, of the members, but didn't say anything in case something bad was to happen.

Axel was sitting quietly in his room, it had just gone 9 (pm) which he was getting ready to play poker with the other members . The previous night he had been out drinking with Luxord and Xigbar, and he felt bothered by the questions that Xigbar had asked him. They all seemed to be about Saix/Isa, Roxas and Xion based. That how close he was with all of them and how it was weird that he even had developed a friendship at all. But one question played over and over in his head. _"Why do you care for Saix so much? You keep on defending him, So I just want to know" _Axel thought it rather odd that Xigbar even noticed. Saix and Xigbar loathed each other with a passion, so why was he so keen on him lately. However Axel shrugged it off, as no one, not even the Superior probable knew what was going on in the old pirates head. He wasn't even sure if Xigbar himself knew.

Just as he was about to walk out of his room there was a knock at the door. A loud knock, at made the room shake. The Pyro had to slightly cover his ears, before he went to open it. Axel opened to door, only to see Saix pushed his way into the room and slam the door behind him. The blued haired man pushed all his weight on to the door, for a couple of moments, as if he was trying to keep something out.

"Ahh, Saix. Are you ok?" Axel questioned looking oddly at the other nobody.

"Lea" he quietly said before turning around. He then walked up to where the other was standing, then stopped. "There on to us."

Axel's eyes then widened. "What do you mean Isa?"

"They're spying on us. They are trying to find out what's wrong with me." Saix then held his head with his hands. How the hell could he have tripped up? There was no way he could have. He all ways been so careful with what he had said, or done. How in all of Kingdom Hearts had Zexion and Xigbar caught on?

"What sorry you lost me. Who has caught on?" Axel questioned trying his best to calm Saix down.

"That idiot Xigbar and emo Zexion! They know something I swear they do. I don't know how but they do. Axel I don't know what to do..." Saix said for once in his non-existing life, admitted he needed help, and that he was panicking.

"Ok Saix, all you need to do is tell me what you know so we can sort this." Saix then nodded at the remark. He then began to telling the red head his theory...

Earlier that day...

The day started like any other day in the Castle that Never Was, as there were monstrous sounds coming from this very core. The Grey Area was filled with shouts and screams from the nobodies. As per usual they were ranting and raving about the little time they all had off. They swore it was only a day per 2 months. It wasn't nearly enough time. Luxord was particularly annoyed y this. As it lessened his time to con Xigbar out of all his wages, which meant less munny for him. But every nobody had their little disagreements with the Superior's system. Even Saix had to admit he never had any time to himself. It was _heartbreaking _to see all the heartless people in distress.

"All I am saying: Xigbar, Saix. That you are both second in command, so therefore you should be the one to tell Xemmy." Luxord stated taking a sip of his tea, which contained about two thirds of rum in it.

"Yeah ok Luxord. Then you will be the one to tell everyone it is just grumpy old X-Face in charge yeah" Xigbar shouted back at him, wishing that he had some Rum to take the edge off. Saix simple rolled his eyes at Number II who he was sitting by. Heavens knows why he was even there.

"Ah, Guys" Roxas said sheepishly. All eyes then peered at Roxas, apart Xemnas who wasn't there. The XIII member gulped as he felt the rage of the entire higher ranking nobodies beam right at him. "Well..."

"Spit it out you worthless twerp" Larxene growled at him, with eyes full of rage.

"OK, OK. All I was gunna say, with what little time we have off today, you are complaining to Xigbar and Saix, when you could be pretending to _enjoy _your selves."

For once, Saix would never thought it, but he agreed all too well with the Key blade bearer. Although he couldn't shake off the undeniable and complete hatred he had for the young nobody. If you didn't know Saix that well, you would just assume it was because of pure irritation Saix _felt_. But everyone else knew different. Even if he wouldn't admit it, it was because he was jealous. It was never really his thing jealousy. Even when he was Isa, he was never jealous, or envious of anyone. But Roxas; he just couldn't wait to rip his head off. All because of Axel, it was stupid really being jealous of that lump. But he was his best lump. He would never tell anyone that though, not even Axel.

"He's right." Demyx cheered with happy smile on his face. "We can do whatever we won't it's our day off. Like we can all play strip poker tonight." Some of the nobodies nodded in agreement, the others looked at the IX th number with degust.

"YES! Now someone is talking." Xigbar smiled, lifting his hands up in the air, almost whacking Saix in the process.

Saix stood up before saying. "Good now that, that is sorted go and do whatever it is you all do. Or... Demyx you can play you sitar for the rest of the day." Everyone then went wide eyed and teleported out of there as quick as possible, to get away from Demyx. But IX teleported to actually play his sitar in the comfort of his room, as he didn't want to be used a target practice again. All apart from: Saix, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus and Zexion. Saix was the second in command but he had still had little power over the higher ranking members. Which annoyed him. Like Xigbar he hated all those people. Especially Zexion, he swore to himself the first chance he got, he would get rid of the Cloaked Schemer, even if that meant being a traitor.

Saix then chose to stay standing, he didn't want to sit next to Xigbar again, nor did he want anyone sitting next to him. But his effort was left in vain as Xaldin motioned Saix to sit next to him. Saix gave him a funny look, but he got it back in returned from both II and III. Xaldin, Saix didn't really speak to him much. He could never really remember actually wanted to speak to him. Whenever Saix saw him, he just remembered Dilan chasing after him and Lea, because the red head and throw a brick though the Castle window. Not one of the cleverest of this to do, as they were both grounded for 3 months. Ever so he did as he was told and sat next to the Whirlwind Lancer, and didn't think nothing of it. But there was that little thing in the back of his mind, telling him to get the hell away from all of them.

"So VII" Vexen was the first to speak. "How are you?"

Saix just glared at him, what the hell was going on. They all had a day off, and they were using it to speak to him. "We don't have emotions" he simply replied back. He knew that would annoy Vexen, as Vexen was the bloody one who helped Xehorant. What and Idiot!

"As if, Anyway what you freaks all doing today?" Xigbar smirked not taking his gaze off of Saix.

Xaldin shook his head, this was stupid idea. Saix wasn't this stupid. "Not a lot."

"Ok, well I suggest that we all do something important. Like... I don't know play a game of truth or dare." Xigbar smiled with a smug look. This was just getting way too easy, how did none of the other members thought of this! But then again Saix or anyone would play that! Back to the drawing board.

"No." The blued haired comment whiles crossing his arms.

"Why not?" Xaldin whispered as he didn't feel like speaking to day.

"Because I can't stand to be around any of you at the moment." Saix snorted. He could feel the anger rise in him as he sat down. Something wasn't right; he never spoke to all of them like this. There was something out of place, he felt it a couple weeks back, but didn't really think anything of it. Anyway he couldn't stand to be in the room with Zexion any longer. He tried to leave but Xaldin stretched his arm so that he couldn't stand up.

Zexion then placed his hand over his nose again. There was that smell again. The horrid, awful smell of dog. It was slowly getting stronger by the second, and he didn't know what started it off. The other members looked at him, as they knew what he was doing, but didn't have a clue way. They were used to this, Zexion having the better sense of smell then anyone less. It meant that on missions, it would be a lot easier if they were paired with the VI the member.

"Zexion what is it?" Lexaeus quietly said, in his normal bland tone of voice; noticing the other nobody's expression.

"I smell a dog" he gave the members a weird look, in which he got back in return. He widener his eyes as the smell became stronger and potent. This time instead of placing his hand in front of his nose, he was holding it.

Saix then became very wide eyed. He could smell him? He really smelt like a dog, yet no one else could smell it. He gulped slightly, but it wasn't that he needed to fear, it was the new stench that he was giving off. He smelt like fear. Zexion eyes then snapped towards Saix. The steel blued haired nobody tilled his head at him with confusion. Why on earth would he be scared unless... he was the one who smelt that way?

"What's wrong Saix? Do I detect a hint of fear in you?" Zexion taunted, hopefully he was going to get the answer the others had seeked for the past month.

The VII th member eyes then glow with rage. He couldn't contain it, but if he lashed out Xemnas would have to know everything. He shook it off to defend himself. But without Axel's presents he was sunk.

"We don't even know the meaning of fear."

Zexion smiled slightly "True, but I can smell darkness and you wreck of it. So why is that? All of a sudden you just wreck of darkness, don't think that I'm buying that? What is going on number VII?" calling Saix by his lower ranking name angered him even more. The other nobodies just sat and watch, Zexion taking the piss out of him to try and find out what was going on, was the funniest thing that any of them had ever seen Zexion do.

"Drop it Zexion" Saix spat. Trying his hardest not to rip off Xaldin's arm in the process.

Vexen glared oddly at Saix "Why should he? After all we all stink of darkness."

"Yeah, and all that darkness comes from somewhere, X-Face. So where does yours come from, huh?" Xigbar mocked hoping to get him angrier, as they had found out Zexion and Xemnas. That it was indeed his anger that had something to do with the odd behaviour. As Axel seemed as concern as a nobody could be.

Saix in a panic pushed Xaldin's arm away from him, but the wind lancer shoved him back. Saix tried his hardest not to look at anyone in the eyes, as he knew that they could see the rage that was now brewing in with n them. "Xaldin, Move!" Saix said still glaring at the floor, with hatred.

"I got a better idea!" Vexen stated "Why don't you just answer the question, then you can be on your way."

"Yeah, wereax. What with the sudden push on poor Xaldy? It's not like he has done anything to you." Xigbar smirked. He knew that Axel was out with Roxas and Xion all day. So that meant that Saix wouldn't have any protection from the red head. Making him angry was going to be a piece of cake.

The blued haired nobody then drag his nail into the palms of his hands, at the ridiculous nickname. Only 4 more days he thought. He repeated it in his mind in an attempted to block out the rage but it failed. He could feel the 9 eyes that started at him. He was going to lose it, and if Xaldin didn't move he was going to pay the price.

"I won't say it again Xaldin. MOVE your ARM, NOW!" he screamed with his eyes glowing oranger with rage.

Vexen and Xigbar slightly jumped at the outburst. Even though all of them weren't as afraid of the Luna Divider then the lower members of the organization, they were still in constant fear that he would break someone in two. No one really knew that much about Saix, apart from Axel. Which meant unfortunately for them; no one really knew the buttons not to press. Saix released his nails from his hands. He had pieced though his gloves and into his skin. He could tell this from the red hot liquid that had stained his gloves. Also he could feel it slowly ooze out of his body, caking his gloves with blood. Xaldin glanced down to him and saw what Saix had done to himself. Even though he wasn't at least bit afraid of him, he could tell that they had gone too far. He quickly moved his arm away from Saix and sat back. This confused the other members, as they needed to find out what was going on, and Xaldin had let him go!

He stood up folded his fingers in his hands in attempted to cover the blood, which he know knew, Xaldin had noticed. He placed his arms by his sides and turned to face the other nobodies in the room. "Does it really matter? No, so why don't all of you just allow me to enjoy my time off?" as he finished his sentence he noticed that the other members were looking at his hands, then to the floor. He peered down and saw that his blood had been dripping onto the grey floor which he was standing. What was the point? He himself knew he was pushing it too far. Plus with the actual look of horror he was getting from Xigbar, just made the point more obvious.

"Saix" then all the other members turned around to face the door, where the Superior of the in-between was standing. He also noticed the blood on the floor. He then held a long sigh as he realised that Saix was never going to example his behaviour. "Saix, go and do whatever it is you do in your spare time, please." He nodded and left the area.

"What happened?" Xemnas stated looking Zexion, who was usual the fault of his anger. What the hell had Zexion do to his vessel this time. Xemnas was beginning to get fed up with Zexion.

"I just commented on the smell I have smelt recently, and he got over protected about it. Then his hands started bleeding due to him, digging his nails into his hands." Zexion commented not really caring of what Saix had done.

"What smell is that then?"

"He has smelt a dog. As if, we don't have pets in this bloody castle." Xigbar said leading back on the chair. "Wait a sec, If we are not allowed to keep pets? Then why are you allow to keep Saix?" Xemnas just shook his head in disgust. Xigbar was really testing his patience recently.

But as he finished Zexion disappeared in a cloud of purple darkness. Vexen then pulled a weird face at the display. He had never done that without the say so of the Superior before. But yet the white haired man didn't seem to mind. In face he seemed pleased with what he had done.

"You lot are tasked with following him for the rest of the day. Oh and keep an eye on Axel, there is no doubt that he won't try to talk to him. I am growing sick of this secret and if I don't find out soon we are going to lose a member of the organization." Xigbar smirked, but the other members seemed a little frightened. As Xigbar was the only one to know what was really going on, Xemnas head (well his head), and he knew he meant Axel. The only person who could ever get Saix to express emotion. He did like Axel but he was more intrigued to see how far Xemnas would actually go.

Back to the Present...

"... and I have seen at least one of them in every room that I have been in for the rest of the day. They are watching my every move Lea. I don't know what to do." Saix said sitting on Axel's bed. But as he was thinking about what had happened he had accidently told Axel that he had lied to him before hand. He had allowed his anger to get the better of him, and then he had harmed his self. He knew it was getting out of hand, but he needed Axel to tell him it was going to be ok.

Axel closed his eyes. There was no way he was going to keep lying to Xemnas now. He had hurt himself and that was the last thing he had wanted him to do. Yet it was all Axel's fault. If Lea had never had took that stupid dare that his brother's placed on him Isa wouldn't be like this. All because he as too pig headed and stubborn to realise the damage what it could have had done, what it did do. Axel could remember what happened as if it had happened yesterday. His Family, and Isa's, had gone on a holiday to Halloween town, for the Halloween season, and Lea's older brothers had dared him to find, and poke a werewolf. And of course he took the dare as a serious one. Then he, his brother's and Isa found a werewolf. But just before he could complete the dare Lea's brother's chickened out and ran back to the hotel. Isa on the other hand had been trying to talk the red head out of it, but he didn't listen. Yet Isa wouldn't leave his best friend on his own whilst he was doing the dare. As the wolf woke up it went for Lea. But Isa pushed him out of the way and took the bite for him. If it wasn't then for Lea hitting it with a stick and people walking by the wolf would have killed Isa there and then. Saix then had always told Axel that it wasn't his fault but he couldn't shake off the guilt that had built up inside him ever since. It was his fault, but he would never let him believe it.

"So what do we do about it Axel? I can't live the rest of my non-existence life avoiding everyone, and keeping my head low. I've only got 4 days left." Saix sighed, tying not to let out the shaking ness being heard from his voice.

"Isa, we have 4 days to think of something. We have lied ourselves out of many things before. I don't see any reason why we can't now. We just need to think."

"I have been TRYING TO! But nothing seems to work!"

"Ok, ok, ok. It's not like they know anything, they are just keeping an eye on you. It will all blow over in about five days were you will be back to yourself." Axel smiled trying to make Saix feel better. But the look on his old friends face, said it all. This was never going to get resolved.

Saix then stood up, then shook his head, in what appeared to be sympathy. "Axel. I don't know how long this has been going on for, but... If they are spying on me they will also be keeping an eye on you." All of a sudden Saix closed his eyes. He could hear something. Something that had moved. But neither of them had moved. Saix then started hard at Axel and quickly changed the subject. "any way haven't you got another poker game to be getting on with?" Saix as he was pushing Axel out of Axel's room.

"Saix this is my room!" he cried.

But he didn't seem to care as he shoved the red head out of the room and locked the door. He then placed his hands onto the door, and closed his eyes lightly. He didn't want to do that, and most likely Axel would burn him for that later. But he needed him out of there. He lifted his head up and sigh.

"You can come out now Zexion. I know you are in here." After he said that Zexion appeared leading against the wall that the window was placed on. He had his arms crossed and he was glaring at Saix. Without turning around, Saix asked. "How long have you been in here?"

"As long as you." He simply replied. When Zexion had left the grey area, he had been following the divider. He knew at some point he would have to talk to Axel. Thanks to his power, he could appear invisible to all though around him.

Saix did wonder why he had seen everyone else apart from him. He turned to face the member of the organization that he hated the most. "So what are you going to do? Go back and report to Xemnas, and tell him what you have heard." Luckily for Saix none of them had mention what it was, they were on about."

"Well you tell me, should I? After all you did say you had 4 days to go. But to what I wonder? There is no use reporting something that I can't explain. Unless you want to tell me?"

Saix laugh under his breath. Did Zexion honestly think he was going to tell him anything? "So you have been spying on me. For how long?" Saix said, blatantly ignoring the question.

Zexion smirked. "You should know. Does any of have a heart to trust ecahother? Well I would say, I have been spying on you since you caved in a wall. Temper, temper Saix. How long have you know?"

"Today"

"Disappointing" Zexion said under crossing his arms, and getting up from the wall. "I would have expected you to have realised sooner. After all you are the one who does the spying."

"And yet I have never admitted to doing it." Saix pointed out the flaw that Zexion had made. Rule one of the organization never tell anyone what you are doing. This made Zexion roll his eyes. He hated it when Saix was right, or pointed out his flaws. He couldn't wait until he faded away. But after this encounter he may even be so lucky to turn the Divider into a dusk. "Anyway Zexion, I never viewed you as a grasser." Saix mocked him.

"That as it maybe, some members consider you to be a... _oh what's the word_... a traitor."

"Do you really think, I would leave any stone unturned if I was a traitor? You would have to be mad to do that"

Zexion sigh lightly. There was no way he was going to willing reveal anything. Even if it meant he couldn't live out his non existing life. They both knew he would rather fade then say anything. But Zexion sigh turned into a cruel smile as he glanced up at Saix. "Your right Saix, maybe you aren't the traitor. But Axel on the other hand..."

"Axel has got nothing to do with this!" Saix stated. He could feel the anger and his fear suddenly build up. What had he done? He had dragged Axel into this, and it wasn't even his fault. But he had to stay calm. He knew that Zexion could smell it.

"Well you and I both know he wouldn't do a thing like that, and we both know what happens to Traitors. So do you care to explain or do I have to tell Xemnas that Axel is plotting to take over the Organization?"

Lea was going to suffer because of him. He had to think of a lie quick, he wouldn't allow any harm to come to him. _Why do I care for that basted so much?_ "Ok. My anger will be the strongest in 4 days time. I just need to keep my distance that's all." Saix just prayed that Zexion would take the lie. Although it won't really be lying to some extended.

VI just shook his head. Not even the threat of his only friends' death would make him talk. "Right... Saix I will do it unless you tell me the truth. I'm not going to sit here and take in useless crap like that!" Saix then froze. He had forgotten that Zexion had been in here the whole time. Including the part where Axel said they had laid their way out of many things before. Saix couldn't get his brain to work. It was too much. His hands were hurting, his head was killing. He couldn't think of anything that would get him out of this show down with Zexion. Saix huffed ready to give up and run. "Anyway, why do you defend Axel so much it's not like we have a heart to feel anything?" Zexion added on.

"Why do you support Vexen so much?" this caused Zexion to be quite. He didn't like it when people mentioned his life as Ienzo. He didn't wish to remember anything to do with that. Yet every member had that one person they trusted more than anyone else. Zexion only trusted Vexen more as he was like a father to him, a crap one, but a father none the less. Then Saix quickly added on before VI could respond. "Zexion, how many of you are spying on me?" Zexion gave him an odd look before answering the question.

"Me, and Xemnas why?"

"Oh, now look who is lying? I know that Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen and Lexaeus are also spying on me. So what would happen if the Superior accidently found that out, and you were the fault?"

"He wouldn't believe you."

"Oh no, not me. But maybe Demyx or Marluxia where to slip it into conversation with him. Because I highly doubt that anyone over Axel knows. I am correct?" Zexion then was silent. How on earth did he not see that he was going to play this on him? Saix was cleaver, and he was getting a little too cleaver for comfort. Zexion took a step closer to Saix, in an attempt to head for the door, but Saix blocked his path with eyes of rage and blood thirstiness.

"Oh and, Zexion. You ever threaten me, or try use Axel against me again; I will chock you from your non existing life. Got it?" He then allowed him to exit Axel's room.

As Zexion passed through the door he opened up black corridor. He felt he was even luckily to get out of there alive. There was no way he was doing that again. Saix was deadly at the best of times. But in that moment he could see, in Saix's yellow haunting eyes, only death. Which made Zexion feel like his heart was being devoured by heartless again. The cold hearted emptiness of a boy that he only saw once or twice in Radiant Garden was now making his skin crawl.

As the portal opened. Zexion was sitting on his chair, in the meeting room. With his five superior's awaiting his arrival. Little known to both Saix and Axel, that Vexen had placed a small camera on the Cloaked Schemer before they had their meeting with Saix in the morning, which had recorded all of Axel's, Saix's and his conversation, so that the others were able to watch it whilst he was recording.

"Well done, VI" Xemnas smiled down at the new arrived member. "I must say using Axel like that was very genius of you indeed." Zexion nodded his head slightly, almost like it was a type of bow. He himself was quite proud, although he didn't get Saix to really say anything.

"Yeah, Zexy. I got to feel for you though. He seriously looked like he was going to chock you." Xigbar laughed. He could just imagine Saix doing that.

"Yes, I am fully aware of that Xigbar." Zexion simply replied, trying to hide the hint of fear that was still in him. But he was right.

"So what do we do with Saix? Or Axel, he is mostly not going to be happy that Zexion threaten to use him against Saix." Vexen quickly shouted out. He was still frighten of what number VIII and VII where both capable of. Especially since they both hated Vexen.

Xaldin then shouted out "It's not like Axel is going to kill us for it. He doesn't have the guts. But it does appear that Saix has though" this then made them all think. Why would Saix risk getting punished to save Axel? They didn't have feelings or emotions. Xemnas then developed a scowl. He knew that some nobodies could develop a some sort of emotion, and Saix's and Axel past friendship was getting to close for comfort. This had to be put to rest. Even if it meant he had to wait for another 4 days. But why 4 days?

"What we do with Saix, is none of any of yours concern. I will say what happens, when these 4 days are up. That is the final word."


	6. Chapter 5: Why Can't I Help?

**Afraid to Lose Control**

**Chapter 5: Why Can't I Help (Axel's P.O.V)**

_Axel's P.O.V_

_2 hours to go._

_I don't understand why he doesn't listen to me? I know that I am stupid and it's all my fault but, why can't he just admit he needs help. Why does he have to be so stubborn, and worry too much? You would thought, when he became a nobody, he wouldn't have any concept of worry. But he still worries. He needs to let go, of whatever he is holding back. Even if Xemnas does find out. What is he going to do? Strip him of his second in command position. Isa doesn't care about that. He never has. It's all an act, it's got to be. He hates this place as much as me. Why can't he see that he doesn't need to keep it a secret any longer? _

_In fact I think the organization might even value it. It's pretty cool he can turn into a wolf!_

_But they wouldn't even have suspected anything if it wasn't for Isa temper. He has always had it, but this thing only increases it. It would have also helped if he didn't take offence to the most stupid of things. I mean who screams at someone for walking passed their bed room door?!_

_Yet, this anger is only going to increase in the next 2 hours. And there I nothing I can do about it. _

_Sometimes I wonder why I just don't leave. Me, Isa, Roxas and Xion, could just go and there is nothing any of them could do about it. That's what I'd like to believe. Even if it is just in my head. But I need to help Isa even if he doesn't want it. I know the only way to do that is to telling Xemnas. But when? Do I do it now before he changes. Or do I wait until he has hurt someone. I know that I can't contain him anymore. After all I was the one who got him into his mess. It's my fault and now I know I have to take responsibility for my actions._

_Even if it means: portraying Isa trust..._


	7. Chapter 6: It's All Your Fault part 1

**Afraid To Lose Control**

**I'd like to say thank you for all the people who have read and reviewed this story. I have really enjoyed writing and I hope you have liked reading it. After this chapter, I think there will be two more chapters, and then it will all be done. So hope you enjoy the chapter and please what you think.**

**On to the story...**

**Chapter 6: It's All Your Fault part 1**

"These 4 days are coming to a close. And if we don't find out anything soon, Xemnas is gunna have our necks." Xigbar explained. It wasn't like him to worry much. But he could tell that Xemnas was getting angrier by the second. He knew that Xemnas was about to blow a fuss even if the other nobodies didn't really notice, because he had Xehanort in his head. Then that got him thinking, why couldn't Xemnas find out what was wrong with Saix that way? Even if Saix didn't know he was norted, he still would be able to see what was wrong with the seventh member.

"Well you can blame Zexion. If he didn't openly say we were spying on him, this wouldn't have happened." Vexen said jumping from his seat in the kitchen. Luckily for him it was only Xigbar and him in there.

"True Vexy, but he also wouldn't be able to use Axel against him fully. So you know. Any way, you haven't even been doing anything, so why are you scared?"

"Well you know, he will slaughter, anyone who doesn't do what he likes. Like yesterday he almost throw Lexaeus off of the roof for taking Demyx's side on that stupid bet." Xigbar then gulped slightly. He didn't know that was the reason, he thought it was because Lexaeus had drank all the apple juice, yet again. He was going to have to be a little careful around Saix then.

Just then Saix came in. He simply glared at the two of them. He knew that they were talking about him. That's all they had seemed to do for the past 4 days. It was beginning to get on his nervous. But today the slightest thing that was said to him, he would bite. He had to stop it. This anger was getting serious and he couldn't hold it back. He then took his seat at the table and looked down. Not wanting to make eye contacted with them as he knew he would lash out. At least he knew some of the things that would send him into to his berserk mode.

"Hey Saix" the Freeshooter smiled. But he wouldn't answer. Xigbar, himself, then got angry. Why wouldn't he just speak? "Saix! You gunna speak or what?" the blued haired man shook his head slightly. He wasn't going to risk anything, as he only had 2 hours to go. Which he was determined, that no one would find out his secret. "Why not? Come on! We just want to know what is up with ya."

"Yes that is true Saix, we care deeply for you. Anyway who is cooking dinner tonight?" Vexen gazed at Saix. He was the only one who actually knew, as he wrote the stupid list. Yet he still remained silent. Vexen wanted to change the subject as soon as possible. From what they had seen over the past month, Saix was quite cable, and appeared more than happy to murder a member of the Organization, so he did his best to keep Xigbar under control. "Oh Come on you can at least answer that VII." Vexen then shut is mouth at lightning speed. _Why did I call him number seven? Stupid, stupid, stupid idiot. _

But all Vexen got in response was "Marluxia" Saix said still not looking at the other two members.

Xigbar and Vexen then gave each other the oddest of looks. Xigbar was expecting to be cleaning Vexen off the walls with that remark. But he didn't scream or shout he just quietly said Marly's name. Just then Xaldin, Lexaeus and Zexion enter to a very quiet and confused atmosphere. Saix was still not acknowledging II and IV, were as the other two nobodies were just glaring at him. He could feel the extra hard stares that he was getting. He could feel the hatred that was coming off of Zexion. But he didn't really give a damn about that. He was more upset with the looks he was getting from everyone. But he thought it best to ignore them to the best of his ability. Even if that meant for once in his life; walking away from fight.

As the other member's took their sets, the room remained silent. For a change Lexaeus was the one to make the conversation. "So here we all are again." The rest of the members nodded, but Saix just did nothing. It was clear they had planned to talk to him today. But he didn't want to give them anything in response.

"Yes, and I'm still a little annoyed with a certain threat that was placed upon me." Zexion stated. Saix tried his hardest not to smirk. But there was no way in hell that was not going. This was noticed by the Cloaked Schemer. "You got something to say about that Saix?"

He shook his head.

"Look this is getting fucking ridiculous, just tell us what is up with you." Xaldin shouted finally losing it. This made Saix smile again as he realised he had the high ground on this situation. Xaldin didn't scare him, in fact nothing scare him. Well Zexions' threat did throw him off a bit, but would they really use that again. If they knew what was good for them that is.

"Yeah, come on. It's not fair that only you and Axel know, come on we are all buddies here." Xigbar said in very taunting way. Hoping to snap whatever was keeping Saix so calm.

"I don't have a clue what you are on about." Saix finally spoke.

"Ok Wereax you be like that then."

All of a sudden Saix glared up at Xigbar. His death bringing golden eyes were locked on to Xigbar's. No matter how hard he was going to try he knew that nick name was going to make Xigbar suffer greatly. The other four members saw this and leant back on their chair ever so slightly, so that they didn't get the blast from Saix's rage.

"Don't call me THAT!" he spat. He was now starting to fear what he was going to do to Xigbar. Only a couple of weeks ago he had smacked him with his claymore. His body then began to shake with the rage that had suddenly built up. But he needed to remember they wanted this. They wanted him to get angry and spill his secret. He wasn't going to let this thing take over him. Not yet anyway.

"So wereax, what annoys you so much about that name?"Zexion said from across the table.

"Yes that is a stupid name to get worked up about. I mean I get call whinny Einstein all the time, and I don't complain." Vexen said. Then without thinking Saix suddenly slammed his fist against the table, causing it to have a dent. He took it to be the Isa part of him, who was telling everyone else to back off, in a kind way. But it didn't work; it was only going to increase their endless taunting.

"Look who is buying a new table." Xigbar laughed.

"Alright." Saix shouted, as he pushed the table back so that he could tower over the other members. "You want to make me angry yes!" they all gave him blank expressions; they didn't know what was going to come of this. They didn't want to answer just in fear of what the impacted maybe if they did "WELL GO ON THEN! YES! Or NOO!" Vexen then coward in fear in case he was his next target. But Zexion on the other hand did the complete opposite.

"Yes. We do" Saix then got out his claymore. This made the Chilly Academic cower even more. Xaldin and Lexaeus just remain emotionless, but inside they were had that hint of denial in them. Whereas Xigbar and Zexion; were just happy that he was angry. They hadn't seen all day. Xigbar had to hand out the stupid mission slips because it. And Zexion hadn't had the pleasure of getting his own back. So this was going to be delightful.

Just before Saix could take a swing, Marluxia walked in to the kitchen with his hands full of flowers. He was going to make the table look all pretty and presentable, as he usual did, when it was his turn to cook. Even like to day, if he was going down to twilight town and getting a take away for everyone, he still needed it all to be pretty.

"uhh, What's going on?" the pinked haired man asked, with a confused and startled look on his face. Saix then turned around and made his claymore vanished. He had never been so happy to see the Graceful Assassin in his whole non existence. That stupid traitorous man had just saved him from a possible dusk sentence. He took a deep breath, and then walked out of the kitchen.

Before he left however, he turned to Marluxia. "XI: You don't have to go on any missions for the next five days."

"What! ...Why..." Marluxia asked in a very surprised, yet suspicious way.

"Oh because: II, III, IV, V and VI had said they think the work isn't changeling enough for them. So they can have yours." and before any of them had time to protest to what had just been said, Saix left the room.

Marluxia turned to the other nobodies. "What in the world was that about?"

"My advice to you Marly: Don't ask, I wouldn't if I was getting that many bloody days off" Xigbar said leaning back on his chair. Sounding rather irritated by the statement VII had just made.

Hour and 15 minutes later... (Still in the kitchen)

II, III, IV, V and VI were still in the kitchen and were getting in the way of Marluxia _perfect_ table. It was beginning to make Zexion sneeze as he had a much more sensitive nose then the others, making the pollen even stronger than usual. He didn't understand the XI th member love for flowers. He was more of a girl then both Larxene and Xion put together. I mean he dyed his hair pink for heaven sake. Well that's what they thought, he did any way. They never once consider it was natural. Xaldin then blow off all the flowers what were laid out on the table, as he had had enough of pink! Luckily for him Marluxia gone out to get the pizza or whatever he was getting for everyone. So he didn't have to listen to: _they were there for a reason. _Or,_ Oh no one cares about perfection, but me. _It drove all the members crazy. Even Larxene needed a break from his constant rabbiting about flowers, and all things pink. Xigbar just couldn't wait to see Marluxia's reaction, it was going to be classic. Then the kitchen door opened they all excepted it to be Marluxia but no standing in the door way was Axel. And boy did he look pissed.

"Are you all really that Stupid?!" he shouted. It wasn't like Axel at all. He only ever shouted when it came to Roxas or Xion being picked on. Never anything else, unless someone had played a prank on him. "Do you all want an early death sentence? Because that is what you are going to get if you keep annoying him."

"Relax Axel. Anyway we can't die we don't exist, remember? As if, but fading we can do that!" Xigbar laughed.

Axel shook his head, why couldn't they understand what they were doing. He knew that he couldn't tell them, but it appeared they had no common sense. "Well, not just for yours, mine, but for everyone in this Organization. Leave Saix alone. Get that Memorized, and get it memorized quick, do you hear me?"

"We didn't know that Saix would go crying to you like a baby!" Zexion teased.

"Emo, shut it. And for your information, I am his friend and if someone is taking the piss out of him I want to know about it!"

"Just like he would do that for you?" the steel blued haired man answered back. This cause Axel then to be very quiet, Isa may have done that in the past, but Saix... he had never done that. Well not since he had got that scar and those eyes... that was something Axel didn't want to think about. But Saix needed him, and he wasn't going to let this happen.

"Yes! He would."

He then took his seat next to Zexion and slumped into his chair. He didn't really like getting angry with the other members. Yes he hated most of them, but he kind of, got on well with Xigbar. There was that cold dead feeling again, when the other members started coming into the room. The upper end of the table were all ignoring each other, creating an empty feeling in the room. Demyx and Luxord didn't even question it. But the Gambler of Fate did find it rather disturbing that Xigbar's annoying voice wasn't calling him. He had to slightly pinch himself to see that he wasn't dreaming. Roxas and Xion were also concern. Axel didn't even wave at them when they enter the kitchen. He just kept staring at the door, almost as if he was waiting for something. But what? This just left Demyx and Larxene, actually being themselves. As Marluxia wasn't there she had to speak to Demyx. Yet she didn't want to interrupt the beauty of silence in the room. It was silent in that room for a good long 5 minutes before Larxene got bored.

"Bloody Hell you lot! Did someone die?!" she said in an angry manner.

Axel shook his head and continued glaring at the door. This was picked up by Roxas, who growing with concern by the second. What had happened to the fun loving Axel? It was almost like he was a different person.

Before anyone else could speak the Superior enter. As he took his seat he noticed an evil glare was shot his way, by Axel. Axel had been avoiding I through VI for the past four days. He didn't want to be pushed in to a corner, by any of them, especially Xemnas. That man did terrify him, even if he would never admit it.

Xemnas then cleared his throat. "Where is XI?"

"Getting dinner!" Larxene called from the other end of the table.

He nodded, and noticed that another member was missing as well. "What about Saix?" he then placed his attention back to Axel. He had seen Saix rush to him an hour earlier. So he came to the conclusion that he knew where his second-in-command was at this present moment. Axel shrugged his shoulders. But Xemnas continued looking at him until he got a proper answer.

"I don't..." before Axel could finish his sentence: Both Saix, and Marluxia, walked into the kitchen. Marluxia set to work handing out all of the pizza and drinks that they had all order. He wanted to make a fuss of the entire display that had been blown off of the table. But his encounter with Saix earlier, made him stop himself from complaining.

Saix on the other hand seemed calm enough. But Axel could tell that was just a cover up. The blued haired man took his seat. As he did so, Zexion and Vexen gave him death like glares. He returned them back, making Vexen look back down at the table. Whereas Zexion maintained his ground. Saix then notice Axel giving him a hard stare, so he backed down and looked at the food on his plate.

It was quite all through the eating part of dinner. Not one nobody dared to speak. Not even Demyx opened his mouth for anything, but placing food into it. It was getting to the point where so much tension had built up, that one noise could set of a massive chain reaction. Saix glanced up at the clock, he didn't realise he only had 15 minutes to go before it would happen again. Damn it MARLUXIA! Why did he have to be so late with the food? Yet again? Saix then start tapping his foot against the white floor, praying that it would increase his chances of getting out of the kitchen sooner. His nervous behaviour was of course notice by everyone. He was never nervous, or had a sense of worry. So what had made him this way? He didn't even notice that it was getting louder and louder. This was causing everyone to look at him. It finally stopped when Xemnas spoke.

"Are you bored VII?"

Saix shifted his gaze to the Superior, and gave him an odd stare. "No" he simply said.

"Then why are you tapping your foot? It is starting to get on everyone's nervous." Xemnas stated in a rather annoyed manner. Saix then took his hands off of the table, and placed then on the arms of the chair. With the only bit of control he had he squeezed the arms for the chair, so that he didn't scream at Xemnas.

"Sorry Sir." He said before glancing down at the table again. His head was suddenly beginning to hurt. It was like he was fighting something, in his own mind. But it appeared to be three things, instead of two. Not only was there the last piece of Isa trying so desperately to hang on, to the empty shell of Saix. Or the werewolf that was trying to consume his mind into chaos. No, there was a third. Something creepy in the dark, making his vision blurred. Wanting to plague his heart, into pure and utter darkness. He snapped his eyes shut to try and get rid of the pain, but it only increased. He held his head not caring if anyone noticed, as his face shrivelled up in pain. Then through the darkness, he saw a man. He couldn't make out any features of him, as he was wearing a black coat, but he was somewhat familiar to him. He didn't know what it was but, he couldn't shake off the feeling of denial as he drew closer to him.

His headache increased as the drew closer and closer. The faceless man then stop in front of him. Saix just stared at him. His hood was down, but he still couldn't see his face. It was blurry to the Luna Divider. Suddenly two, heartless looking eyes appeared on his face. Saix could only describe it as the devil. A being who was consumed by so much evil and death, couldn't be anything more. But the eyes were golden much like Xemnas's and Xigbar's. Saix felt enclosed in the dark. He tried to speak but the words wouldn't escape his mouth. He only stared and thought about the pain that this man was bringing him. His eyes felt so similar but yet so distance, as they reminded him of himself. But that was impossible all three of them didn't have the same eyes. As he was in deep thought, the man then lifted his arm up to Saix forehead. Saix couldn't move as he touch his X shaped scar in the middle of his head. The pain then became unbearable, which lead Saix to scream. He couldn't feel anything but the pain that his head was suffering. He felt like he could end it there. But Lea's voice suddenly brought him back to reality.

"Saix!" The blued haired open his eyes to find he wasn't sitting in his chair anymore. He was pinned up against the wall by Axel's Chakrams. They had pieced though his coat and stuck deep into the wall, from behind where he was sitting. What the hell had happened? His yellow eyes scanned the room until he saw Zexion was on the other side of the room, as far away from the Divider as possible. Saix then realised he had tried to kill the VI th member. As much as he wanted Zexion to die, what on earth had made him snap? He then looked at Axel how looked almost scared. In that inserted Axel knew definitely he had lied to him. Now he didn't look scared, it was disappointment that fell on his face. Everyone just placed their eyes upon Saix as he looked down to the floor. He had nothing to say about the matter.

Zexion then managed to stuttered out. "You... tried to KILL ME!"

"No I didn't! It wasn't me..." Saix stopped himself. The anger and the rage was just pilling and pilling up. There was no way he could last a single minute more in that room. He crossed his arms over and pulled out the Chakrams that had been stuck in the wall, and throw them on the ground. He then left without a single word, or even caring that he hadn't been dismissed.

Axel then picked up his Chakrams, also without thinking he chased after the Lunar Divider, shouting "Saix! Wait!" as he went. Xemnas then glared at the two, and then to the shock hawed of nobodies who had witness the event.

"That's it I have had enough. Zexion: we are all going to following them, and you will lead the way."

"What if he tries to KILL ME again!" Zexion eyes widened, with fear. This was the first time Zexion had ever shown that he was scared in all of his non existence.

"For the love of KINGDOM HEARTS! Use you power to turn us invisible you IDIOT!"

Elsewhere with Axel and Saix...

Saix got to the room, with a little less the 10 minutes to spear. How they hell had he manager to let that happen. How did he lose so much control? He didn't even know what he was doing. What he was going to do now? He knew that Axel was following him. There was no way that Axel was not going to inform Xemnas no matter now, no matter how much he pleaded. His whole body began to shake, with anger. It was going to happen again like it did every full moon. But this time, it was going to be more painful, and he was going to be deadlier then ever. He sat on the fire proof ground and shook his head.

Suddenly Axel burst through the door not even bothering to close it. "WHAT in all of kingdom hearts was THAT! Isa you almost killed ZEXION!" He stared at his friend with disbelief. How to hell could he have done that? The blued haired man was rubbing his eyes to try and block out the rage that was now like a rocket, going at full speed.

"I don't remember doing it" Saix said calmly covering his face.

"Well guess what, if you remember it or not. Everyone else is, and everyone saw it!" Axel shouted. The red haired man lowered his head. He couldn't shout at him for it. It wasn't his fault. But this time Saix had crossed the line. He had destroyed the secret and now everyone was going to find out. But that wasn't what hurt him the most. The thing that hurt him the most was that he had lied to him. Axel looked back up to Saix after a minute of silence. "You lied to me. You said that everything was alright, that you knew how to control it." This made Saix to take his hands away from his face.

"I know"

"You think that is ok?! Now guess what they are all gunna ask questions, and I can't keep lying for you."

Saix then jumped up. He couldn't tell anyone. He couldn't. This put Saix in a state of panic. But also rage. "NO! Axel you promised you wouldn't tell anyone!"

"Yeah well you promised that you had it under control." Axel shouted with pure angry and rage in his eyes. He knew that Saix was running out of time, so he didn't want to increase the man's anger. But he couldn't just stand there and allow him to lie to his face again. He may even possible hurt himself.

"I know WHAT I said. I didn't know it was going to be this bad. It's like something, is GRABBING onto my mind, and I CAN'T GET IT OUT! Like it is trying to fill the only part of me left. AND IT HURTS! It really hurts." Saix turned away from Axel. He felt it. For the first time in a very long time, since when he was Isa in fact. That he would cry. The pain of three things fighting for one body was too much for him. If he could cry, the tears wouldn't stop and he would show complete weakness in front of Axel. But luckily being a nobody there was no such things as tears.

"Saix, listen to me. We have to sort this out. I can tell Xemnas and this will all blow over." Saix didn't turn or shout he just looked down at the floor. Wanting this all to be over and done with. He felt a hand grab is right shoulder. But he didn't move he just stayed frozen. "Listen the organization, as much as I hate it, will help you. Vexen can help you. And he will. He'll have no choice but to." Saix still didn't turn to face Axel. His mind was racing with all the anger and hatred he had built up.

"Isa, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all of this." That was it. Saix had snapped. He wasn't going to be calm, or respect Axel's feelings. He was going to let it pour out.

"Sorry?" Saix turned pushing Axel back as he did do. "Sorry? You're SORRY?! Sorry doesn't EVEN begin to make up for all YOU have PUT ME THOUGH! Because of you I LOST MY HEART! Because of YOU, I AM IN THIS BLOODY ORGANIZATION! BECAUSE OF YOU, I AM LIKE THIS! All because of a stupid little boy, who didn't UNDERSTAND when things were getting TOO FAR!"

"Isa, I know. And if I could take your place I wou..."

"NO! You wouldn't." As much as he was angry, he wouldn't wish this upon anyone. Not even Zexion. But this only increased his rage then soothed it. "It was MY OWN STUPID FAULT FOR DEFENDING YOU! I hate you, so much! ALL because of you, I WILL NEVER be the person who I once WAS! And I don't understand, why I STILL DO DEFENED YOU! You know WHAT, I would have been BETTER OFF, if I had NEVER MET YOU LEA!"

The words went through Axel like knives. He didn't mean that. He was just angry. He never meant any of this. But he was right. At least he admitted that he was the fault of everything that had ever happened to them. He watched as Saix backed down and went over to the other side of the room. Far away Axel and the wide opened door.

Axel leant on the door and sigh softly. He turned to Saix. "You're right. It is my fault... all of it. And it is also true, that you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me. Maybe you would have been better off if you never met me. But I can't let this continue. You are just gunna hurt yourself or someone else." Saix turned back around to see where Axel was.

He was going to leave him in there! On his own! No he couldn't do that. His yellow eyes turn to horror. As he heard the nine words, he had never wanted to hear in the same sentence. "I'm sorry Isa. but Xemnas has got to know." With that Axel slammed the door behind him. Then he melted the lock with his fire. There was no way he was going to let him out. He heard a slam against the door. Saix was trying his hardest to break down the door but Axel had now melted all the hinges and locks. There was no way he was getting out with his strength "AXEL!"

Axel placed his hands on the door after hearing the plead. But all he could do was place a fire in the room around the wall, from inside the room. In a matter of seconds he was going to change. Then there would be no way of stopping him. Axel gave a long sigh before thinking out loud. "I'm sorry Isa. But Xemnas has to know."

"Yes I have to know, and I have to know now!" Axel turned around to see no one there. He glanced for a few seconds before the illusion had stopped. Zexion was standing in front of the other eleven nobodies, with a small grin on his face. Axel shook his head.

"Saix is going to love you isn't he..."

**Secret's out! well hoped you enjoyed it, and I hoped I did a good job. **

**Anyway I will try and get the next chapter out as soon as possible but unfortunately I have Exams. So I mostly won't be updating anything until after the 12****th**** of June. LAST DAY OF EXAMS! Can't wait. **

**So anyway until next time bye!**


	8. Chapter 7: It's All Your Fault part 2

**Afraid to Lose Control**

**Hey I'm back! **

**Sorry about the wait like a month and 6 days. But unfortunately I had writers block. I blame the school work you know? Any Hope this chapter is ok, and I hope you enjoy it**

* * *

**Chapter 7: It's All Your Fault part 2.**

Time felt liked it had stopped. How could Axel, have been so stupid to leave the door open. He knew that they were spying on him, and Saix. So why in the world was he so stupid? Axel took a slight gulp, as Xemnas was giving him a hard stare. It was over and he had to tell Xemnas or at least show him, what was wrong. Yes Saix would never forgive him. But it was for the best. Wasn't it? He could hurt someone or himself. So it was for the best it had to be. Saix was the second in command after all, so in a way it was only fair that he knew.

"Xemnas do you think it would be better if we spoke in private?" Axel asked, still not making eye contacted with any of them.

"No it wouldn't! You are going to say what is wrong with him right now! Do you understand me VIII?" Xemnas said taking a step closer to Axel and the door. Without thinking Axel also stepped closer to the door, it was almost like he was defending Saix, but he was more concerned with Xemnas. If he opened that door there was no telling what the Luna Diviner would do. He could easily tear the Superior apart if he wanted to. But the thing was, Saix couldn't, and has never, been able to control it. If he wasn't even able to remember that he had tried to kill Zexion; there was going to be blood split if that door was opened. "Axel, if you don't move right now I will happily turn you into to a dusk." A shock of horror then was placed on XIII and XIV's face. Why would he risk his non existence life, for someone who treated him like dirt? The person who would give out hurtful and uncalled for comments at both of them? Axel was their best friend, yet they couldn't do anything to stop the red head from making a fool of himself. Xion turned to Xigbar who also had the same expression. But why? Xigbar had never care for Axel, or this place for that matter. So why was he so shocked at the comment? It's not like he would be hurt if any harm came to any of the members.

"Xemnas believe me when I say; you don't under any circumstances want to open that door!" Axel replied with a harsh and warning tone. He didn't seem to be bothered by the threat that had been placed upon him. Suddenly one of Xemnas Eternal Blades where right in front Axel's face. But the red head was not about to give up so easily. He had been around Isa and Saix most of his existence and non-existence life to see true anger, and what it could really do to someone. Which now made Xemnas appear like a mere puppy, playing a very dangerous game.

"I said MOVE!"

"Wow, Xemmy calm down!"Xigbar stepped in between Axel and Xemnas, holding his hands up. Somehow he and managed to get from the back of the crowed, and was now standing directly in the middle of the 2 nobodies. The other members were just amazed that Axel hadn't faded yet. "We can sort this out. All Axe, you need to do is say what is wrong, then there is no bloodshed ok" Both Axel and Xemnas, seemed to be unfazed. Both of their expression locked in forms of anger and annoyance. Neither one of them were going to give in. But the Superior would not allow VIII to win this battle in front of the other members. He all ready knew that Marluxia and Larxene were planning his down fall. To which he would not let them see a single sign of weakness appear. Also it didn't help in the slightest that Xemnas knew of both Axel and Saix's plan or the Organization.

"I won't ask you again VIII. MOVE!"

Xigbar rolled his eye. He knew that destroying Axel now, was only going to endanger their chances of the organization true goal. Which so happened to include, his ex-best-friend. Saix in turn would either betray the organization, by trying to murder Xemnas. Or end up killing himself as an act of defiance. Unfortunately for Xigbar; it was his job to unsure that the vessels were kept safe for their transaction, when Kingdom Hearts was finally ready. To which he couldn't do if Axel was dead. He then moved closer to Xemnas and whispered something in his ear.

The Superior made the Blade disappear after Xigbar had taken a step away from both I and VIII. Xigbar's voice then filled the cold-blooded atmosphere once more. "Ok! Now that we are all friends again, Axel, what is up with Saix?" Xemnas allowed Xigbar to do the rest of the talking, as he knew one more cocking comment that VIII might say to him. Was going to be his last.

Axel then cleared his throat. He didn't know how to explain the whole wolfy thing. But he had to get it in to everyone's head that it was very bad idea to open that door. "OK. The reason why Saix has been getting angrier than usual... and the fact that his power has something to do with the moon. Is because... when he was a somebody he got bitten by a... werewolf."

The room was then silent. Everybody looked at Axel as if he had grown three heads. Xemnas then held the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath before he spoke. "VIII, are you taking the piss?" he said in rage and annoyance.

"Yeah Axe I don't think that is even the slightest bit believable" Larxene smirked.

"No. I'm telling you the truth. That is why he has been getting angry, more often. Because it's a full moon tonight."

Zexion peered into Axel's emerald eyes before smirking back. "Yeah and I'm the Easter Bunny." This made Luxord and Demyx laugh a little. Were as all the other members just looked annoyed. Apart from Xigbar who was deep in thought, for once.

"Anyway it would have shown up on his DNA analysis if he was. And I don't miss a thing." Vexen stated sounding rather proud of himself. Xigbar still had the same look on his face, but it change ever so slightly, into a smirk. As he knew, how stupid Vexen really was being. Of course he missed things. Both he and Saix had Xehorant in their bloody heads.

Xemnas, now having enough of this foolery, summoned his Eternal Blade and pushed VIII way from the door, with such a force he flew at least 10 if not more feet away from the group of nobodies, smacking straight into a wall. Axel's vision went blurry, as he hit the wall made him wince in pain. The red haired nobody moved his right hand to his left arm, to calm the pain down. Too late; he could feel the hot liquid oozing out of it. Even though it hurt, he had to travel, and push through the pain. No matter if he got more wounds and bruises no one could open that door. Or the freshly made cut that the Superior had in graved on his skin; was going to be the wolf's next target. Axel then stood up ignoring the pain and glanced over to the rest of the Organization. Demyx, Xion and Roxas all looked at him with concern. We're as the others were focused on what Xemnas and Xigbar were on about.

"Xigbar. Shoot the door down!" Xemnas said taking a step away from the one eyed nobody. Xigbar did as he was told, by summoning his guns. II then aimed it for the door. There was a loud cry of Axel, shouting "NOOO!" but it was far too late. Xigbar had fired and shot both of the melted hinges and lock. The door then fell into the small room with a huge thud, making the nobodies cringe a little.

Axel then in a state of panic ran to the other nobodies and tried his hardest to keep Xigbar and Xemnas away from the entrance of the room. "Listen to me we need to leave now" Axel growled in a harsh whisper.

"Come on flameslylocks there is no wolf, you are ju-..." Xigbar was then cut off by an inhuman, low and monstrous growl.

It sounded so blood thirst and horrifying that it even sparked a bit of fear in Xemnas. The nobodies turned to the entrance of the fire proof, small room, and all gasped. As the saw in front of them a huge pair of yellow piercing eyes, glaring right at them. The gigantic creature was deep raspberry blue colour, with blood bringing yellow eyes. It's paws had coal black sharp claws sticking out of them. That seemed to reflect the white floor; making it look like the moon on a black night. Its moon white teeth were so clear the members could see a reflection of themselves in them. The blue coat looked silky, yet haunting at the same time. Its blue tail appeared to act like a viper searching for its next unlucky victim, as it slowly move from side to side, in a unwelcoming way. The ears of the creature were low, almost flat on its head, as it appeared like it was about to pounce on the next thing that moved. All of its fur was on edge, as it was about to attack. But the thing that struck fear into 13 nobodies non-existing hearts, was the X shaped scar in-between its yellow moon lit eyes. No matter how hard all of the tried to deny it: the wolf was Saix. Their second in command was in fact a werewolf!

Axel slowly gulped then very slowly, yet as quietly as he could, whispered. "Xigbar?"

"Yeah?" he replied in a horrid tone.

"Very slowly, put away your guns" Xigbar in the calmest way he could manage, made his weapons disappear. Then Saix, now a wolf, gave the death stricken growl again, but this time he was looking straight at Xigbar. Axel then spoke again to try and calm the kids and Xigbar down. "Nobody move!" the blue wolf then sniffed the air, and glanced straight into Axel's eyes. They all knew that he could smell the fresh blood that was pouring out of his left arm. VIII stayed still but spoke to Saix. "Hey Saix. It's me, Axel, got it memorized." The loud deep growled then filled the air once more.

"Ok. Mate, you need to calm down." Axel said taking a step closer to him. The last time, he couldn't contain him, Saix needed to be reminding of, whom and where he was. Better yet, he needed reminding who Axel was. "Come on Saix buddy. You remember me don't you?"

The blue wolf just stared at him. This was all too serial for the other members. They had no idea what the hell was going on or even why Saix was like this. Xemnas and Xigbar; unfortunately looked the most horrified; they even looked more scared then Roxas, Xion and Demyx put together. It wasn't because they were scared. It was because of what Saix really was. Out of all the people with the most darkness in their heart; the one they choose to be a vessel for Xehanort, had to be a werewolf! Brilliant just fucking brilliant.

Xemnas and Xigbar's thoughts were cut short as they heard that death bringing growl again. They looked up to see that Axel had managed to get right up close to Saix without being attacked. But the growl soon washed out the worry of Saix actually remember and caring for his former friend. Instead it brought new fears of them losing their 8th member to the 7th.

Axel quickly jumped back, and to the side, as Saix jumped for him. The gigantic animal landed right in front of Demyx who looked like he was about to wet himself. But all the Melodious Nocturne could do, was stare right in the eyes of his superior, without making a single sound. By this point Larxene, Marluxia, Zexion, Lexaeus, Vexen, Luxord and Xaldin had fled the scene, using a dark portal, leaving poor Demyx to an uncertain fate. Saix bared his teeth at the 9th member who was still shaking in fear, the wolf's deep and eerier growl filled Demyx's head with terror as, at any moment now he could bite off his head. "Saix NO!" Axel screamed as he tried to put fire between Saix and Demyx, but it didn't work. Saix was already to close the 9th member, so Axel couldn't do anything about, without causing damage to both 7 and 9. Suddenly out of nowhere, a red laser was heading straight for Saix, which hit him in the back. There was a massive yelp, as the monster turned to face Xigbar, who had his gun in his hand. Saix then ignored Demyx and run at Xigbar with his teeth on show and his crawls out stretched ready to murder him. But Xigbar was quicker and jumped on the ceiling before he could get to him.

This of course angered the blue wolf even more, as he tried to jump up to get a hold of his meal. Axel then quickly ran over to Demyx and pushed him though a dark corridor as he hadn't moved since he saw what Saix had become. Axel at this point was a little less worried that he only noticed that Xemnas, Xigbar, Saix and himself where the only ones left in the hallway. How wrong was he? Axel had failed to notice that Roxas and Xion where shaking with terror in the corner. "Saix, Stop!" Axel screamed again trying to get though to him, before Xemnas or Xigbar could do any damage to him. Saix stop jumping at looked at him again, this time with more anger and rage than ever before.

"Saix you are going to kill someone. You need to calm down." Xemnas glance up at Xigbar who looked confused, as much as he did. How did they not see or realise this. Xemnas closed his eyes and got out his eternal blades. Then stared at Axel and Saix, to see what further development would come of this.

"Saix, come on you know me. Don't do this, let go, please." Axel said in a calm and comforting tone. But the wolf took his stance and sharply looked at Xemnas. The white haired man didn't seem fazed by it, but Axel, Xigbar and Xemnas all knew what Saix was thinking. "Saix stay!" Axel managed to say without sounding worried. Again Saix was too predictable and didn't listen to Axel. But instead, he headed straight for the Superior. Xemnas took in a deep breath and held out his eternal blades in an 'X' shape directly in front of him, to avoid to sudden force that Saix was about to place on him.

Saix ran straight into and yelped in pain, as he was flung back a few feet from the Superior. Saix then got up, in pain, then started pacing around his Superior. Of course at this point both Xigbar and Axel was stricken with horror. Nobody in the Organization would even dare a move like that. Axel had no idea what was installed for both he and Saix when this night was finally over.

Xemnas kept his eye on the wolf and cleared his throat. "Saix, if you can even understand what I am saying. Stop this at once! You are just going to end up dead, or injured if you do that again!" Xemnas sound concerned but threatening at the same. Even though the threat was frightening, and serious, it calmed Axel down a little. As he knew that Saix could understand what was going on, he just needed a little incentive when it came down to it. Saix stop dead in his tracks and stared at his boss again. He slightly sniffed the air and rotated his head until he could pick up the smell.

He wasn't bothered in the slightest about Xemnas or Xigbar, or even Axel any more. He was more interested in the new smell. The freshly new stench of fear. The wolf closed his eyes and slowly wondered away from Xemnas. Axel sighed in relief. _But where was he going? There were only three of them in the hall. So why ignore me, Xigbar and Xemnas? Unless... the KIDS!_ Axel quickly turned around and saw both Roxas and Xion cowering in the corner, with Saix only meters away from them. This was not a good time for Axel not to be alert. I, II, and VIII all knew Saix's unhealthy hatred towards the Keyblade bearers. So when he wasn't even able to control what he was doing, how could he control his hatred for the 2 teens? Saix's eyes began to glow, with rage as he drew closer to the frightened teenagers. His big black claws began to outstretch with every step he took. Then without thinking, what Saix could do, Axel jumped in front of them. Just in time before scratched his stomach.

Axel held is stomach in pain then looked up at the wolf, only to find it had stopped. "Saix, I'm not... going to... let you... hurt them." Axel said taking in deep breathes as he held his stomach. Xigbar at this point had come down from the ceiling and was standing next to Xemnas. They gave each other awkward and unsure looks then turned the attention back to Axel and Saix. Saix then sat down, and placed his head on Axel chest. "I'm sorry Saix." Axel said trying to hold back tears, from the pain Saix had just placed upon him.

The Superior hen developed a horrible scowl, as he saw that Saix did in fact remember who Axel was, and was saying sorry for hurting him. The Wolf then stood up, and walked himself back to room where he had been trapped in early that day. When Xion was sure he was gone she worrying said. "Axel, are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine." He replied simply, trying his hardest, not to let the kids hear the pain in his voice. He glanced up at Xemnas and Xigbar. "Now do you believe me?" this wasn't the time for jokes, but Saix needed help, and the Organization was the only one going to give it to him.

"Flamesly you should have said something before." Xigbar commented.

Xemnas held up his hand so Xigbar wouldn't speak any more. "We will discuss this situation tomorrow. But for now XIII, XIV; take Axel to Vexen. I don't want a dead member of my Organization now do I" With that Axel, Roxas and Xion teleported away from the scene.

"So Mister Master? What do we do with Saix?"

"At the moment nothing, only because we can still use him. But we still need to find something to get rid of it. Because I don't think Xehanort will be too happy we chose a Mutt to be a vessel."

"I hear ya. I'll get Vexen on that first thing in the morning."

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The next morning...

Golden orbs opened wide as the clock on the wall struck 7:54 am. Saix was late. He was never late, he had never been late, maybe one time before he had, but never again. Even if he had to do someone's mission, which was once in a blue moon, but he was never late the next morning. He usually woke up at was around 6:00am and no later. So how and why had he been so late? He looked around see the torn pieces of clothing again. With a new set of clothes beside him. That blanket he hated so much was on him but no Axel. That was strange. Axel was always there to make sure he was ok, and to reassure the berserker of what had happened the previous night. Saix didn't remember much of what happened, last night, or why he had this horrible sense of dread. He knew he had, had an argument with Axel, but what it was about, he was still unsure of. But there was one thing and only one thing for sure. The Second in command was late. He quickly got changed and opened the door. But when he did it fell in on itself. Saix stopped dead. Did he do that? Did he get out? Did he harm, or worse, kill anyone? He didn't know what to think. But his best bet at the moment was to get to the kitchen before he was punished for being late, for the second time in his non-existence life. As soon as he stepped out of the door, he teleport to just outside of his room, so that he could quickly shower, before facing everyone. So many questions were racing around his mind. To, why Axel wasn't with him? To, how I am going to punish people if I was one of the ones who was late?

When he finished quickly got changed again, and teleported down stairs 10 meters in front of the kitchen door. That was strange. He heard everyone's voice, apart from Axel's. Where the hell had Axel gotten to? His head then suddenly began to hurt as a memory from last night smothered his mind:

"_You know WHAT, I would have been BETTER OFF, if I had NEVER MET YOU LEA!"_

He had said that to Lea. His only friend, and his best friend. Saix tried his hardest to block it out, but it only came back again. He had finally done it. He knew this time he couldn't take back what he had said to Axel. No wonder he wasn't there in the room with him. He had hurt him. No, that wasn't possible you need a heart to feel emotional pain, right? None of them had one, so he had nothing to be sorry about. As he took another step closer to the door, he stopped again. That sense of dread crept back into his mind. A feeling that could almost be described as fear plagued him. But why? There was nothing wrong, it was just a normal day, other than he was late. Saix pushed it back and took a deep breath before walking right up to the door and puling open. Soon wishing he hadn't. Everyone was staring at him. Some in surprise, but some in totally fear. The only one who didn't have an expression was Xemnas. Whereas Xigbar just was being himself, the only one.

"What" Saix said in response to their unsettling stares. Saix thought to himself was it because he was late. Or was it something he had done? He didn't have a clue. But whatever it was, he didn't think he ever wanted to know the answer.

"Oh, nothing" Xigbar said leaning back on his chair slightly. But his tone of voice was different. It wasn't happy or frightened. It was a plain bland tone, that didn't fit him in the slightest. "We're all just a little tired that's all. As I can tell you are"

Ok, he overslept he didn't have to rub it in. it was only 8:10am, so it wasn't like he was that late for breakfast. As breakfast started when the Superior arrived, this was around 8:15 anyway. "Wasn't that late." Saix said in response before sitting down in-between Demyx and Lexaeus. But as he did they both flinched slightly. This was normal for Demyx to do that, but Lexaeus the man never showed anything. So why all of a sudden was he showing his fear to Saix?

The room then was silence. Nobody dare speak a word. Just like last time. But last time Saix had shown his anger, that made very one so quite. To be honest he didn't mind the silence, but it wasn't a nice silence. It was the type of silence that would come and bite you.

The silence also appeared to get too much for the Freeshooter. "Sooooo... other than us being lazy asses, how are we all doing today?"

"Xigbar that is not going to help." Xemnas said before taking a bit of his toast.

"Come on you empty husks, someone has to make a conversation. No wonder I hate mornings. "

Saix then glared at Xigbar before commenting on his statement. "Ok Xigbar. Where is Axel?" Xigbar then just glared back at Saix. He knew where he was, and in all honesty. Saix wouldn't won't to see the Flurry of Dancing Flames; if he knew what had happened last night. As II didn't answer his question, he began to get angry as the room went back into silence. "OK What the Hell is going ON!" Saix sat trying his hardest to keep his anger down. But as he uncontrollably slammed his fist into the table, everyone jumped. Even Xemnas did and yet he didn't say a word. Xigbar just gulped slightly as he prepared himself for the berserker to go berserk.

Demyx then all of a sudden raised his hand in fear. "What is it IX?"

"Do I have to sit here? I mean, please I really don't want to!" Demyx pleaded sounding like he was close to tears. Saix just shook it off Demyx would usually ask that. Saix hated sitting next to him, as much as he did. But Xemnas never cared. _'Has to be in order. As we are and organization, XI!' _God Saix wanted to murder him sometimes.

"No one is answering my question" Saix said breathing in a little.

Xigbar being the only one who actually talked to Saix today felt he had to the one to lie, or inform him on the situation. "Ok you want an answer... everyone is just tired were..."

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Saix screamed standing with his hands firmly gripped on the table. Xigbar almost fell of his seat from the sudden outburst. As did Xemnas as he was not except that to come from his second in command. Demyx just hid his head hoping that it wouldn't get bit off. "Now can someone PLEASE tell me what is going on!" it grew silent again. Xemnas didn't want him to go berserk in the middle of breakfast, as he could barley handle him in his berserk mode as it was. But no knowing the reason for his increasing rage he didn't want it to happen again. Everyone just looked at each in hope of someone saying something.

"Ok, ok, ok," the silence was broke by _puppet_ as Saix would call her. Saix gave her a death glare, but she still carried on. "wesawyouturnintoawolflastnight sorry." Xion said at lightning speed; hoping that Saix wouldn't slaughter her for saying it. She had always been scared of Saix, but after last night, she never wanted to get on his bad side again.

"..." Saix just stared at her. He was lost for words. "Wh-wh-at" he managed to stutter out, still looking at Xion and no one else. They what? Saix felt the build up again. But this time it wasn't anger or rage. It was panic. He was panicking, for the first time in his non-existence life he was actually panicking. He slowly sat back down now looking at the table. "You saw... what?"

Xigbar bit his lip slightly, as he knew that no one else was going to speak. "Umm... yeah. Go to admit though dude. I was not excepting that to be your secret." Xigbar suddenly clicked his fingers. "That's why you hate being called wereax. I get it now!" Xigbar cheered in a happier tone.

"Then why did you just say it!?"

"Sorry" he squeaked out as he felt Saix hard gaze fall upon him.

Xemnas shook his head. And smile a little. Did Saix really think he could keep that from them all? Although he did manage 10 years with nobody finding out, which even Xemnas had to admit it was impressive, but not as impressive as irritating. "So Saix. I would like you to tell everyone, how you thought you could keep this a secret."

"To be perfectly honest sir, I thought Xigbar would have found out by now." Saix said still glaring at the one eyed nobody.

There wasn't a lot Xemnas could do about it. Having his vessel as a werewolf, was not the greatest thing he and Xigbar could have done. Now they had the problem with destroying it; 1 without Vexen, who was going to help, noticing Xehanort in him. And 2 the problem of maybe destroying Xehanort in the process. It was silent again; there was no way that Saix wanted to be in that room. He could feel the panic erupt, with every second that ticked by. How on earth could they have found out? He was one of the traitors of this fucking place, which meant he had to be more cleaver then Xigbar and Xemnas combined. So in all of kingdom hearts there was no way he would have slipped up unless... Axel!

Saix got that uncomfortable feeling again. This time he knew full well it was a boiling rage, which not even he could control. He just closed his eyes, and hope he wouldn't see Axel today. He didn't want to hurt his only friend. But this rage had other ideas. But then again; if Axel knew what was good for him he wouldn't come to collect his mission. He wouldn't even have breakfast if he didn't want to turn into dust. But of course he didn't!

Just the Zexion looked passed Saix and smiled. He wanted to get both of them back for what he had been though this past month. So what better way to have best friends kill each other. Well, one kills the other at least. "Hey Axel" he sang waving a little.

Saix golden eyes then shot opened. Xigbar and Xemnas then got the horrid feeling like they did last night. When Saix was about to murder the kids. But this time, they knew he had his sight on Axel.

Axel just gulped, as Saix stood up still not turning to face the pyro, but it was enough to make Axel want to cower in fear. Axel then stayed very still. Yesterday Saix had hurt him; both physically and mentally. So in all likely hood, Saix would just walk away. Like he usually did with Axel, if he ever hurt him. As he knew Saix couldn't cope with the quilt. Saix then turned around and walked to the side of Axel. The whole room was in a cold deathening silence.

Axel did his best not to make eye contacted with him. As he knew he would atomically flip out. So he stood very still waiting for him to pass and walk out the door. All of a sudden Saix fully on punched Axel in the stomach making him winch in pain. But just as he was about to catch his breath, he was pinned up against the wall with Saix's hand around his throat.

Axel gasped for breathe a little, and with as much strength he could muster he said. "Saix... I'm sorry!"

* * *

**There we have it! 1 chapter to go! I promise I will try and get a new chapter out by next Saturday, but can't make any promise. Anyway tell me what you thought, and I'll see you next time by! **


	9. Chapter 8: Make Believe Friendship

**Afraid to Lose Control**

**Finally done. I'm not going to write much and let you lot read a head. Please enjoy. **

**Chapter 9: Make Believe Friendship**

Emerald eyes locked with Golden orbs, as Saix began crushing Axel's throat. Unfortunately for the red head much like dark corridors, powers were also blocked in the kitchen; times like this IX had to be slaughtered, for his little boiling water incident. Axel reached for Saix hand as it squeezed harder on to his neck, but as he did so more pain only followed. Saix's cold dark stare just stayed locked on his formers friend's eyes as he could for see the pyros non-existence life fading every time he put more pressure on his neck. Everyone just looked at the two in shock. Xigbar was again speechless for the second time, in less than 24 hours, as he didn't have a clue what to do. Roxas and Xion watch in horror as their best friend, could fade and there was nothing that could be done about. Even as much as they wanted to help; they didn't want to be at the mercy of Saix. Axel was struggling to breathe, and actually looked scare.

"VII, put him down at ONCE!" the Superior yelled at him, still not moving from his seat. He was fully aware that Saix was indeed a traitor; but he would never disobey him in front of the entire organization, surely?

The blued haired nobody still not taking his gaze off of Axel smirked slightly. "Ok, you want me to put him down? With pleasure sir!" Saix then put more pressure on to Axel's neck, as he was in fact doing as he was told; this only made Axel gasp for breath more.

"Saix that's not what he meant!" Xigbar shouted getting his guns out if he needed to shoot Saix in the back again. Saix took his gaze off of Axel, and stared at everyone. Vexen flinched, a little, as Saix eyes weren't golden anymore. They were completely yellow and glowing with rage, for he had gone into his berserk mode. Demyx gulped and hide under the table as fast as he could; just to escape his superior members rage. Xigbar nervously smiled as he saw the berserker staring at the weapon he was holding.

"Put it DOWN!" Xigbar automatically did as he was told. "Anyone else want to say anything?! Or do you want to become like 8 here?" Xion then began to flood with tears, as her best friend was being tortured by the person who hated her so much. Everyone just gave him a blank look; one thing they all knew about Saix was. Never, get in the way of his berserk rage. Saix gave them all a terrifying smirk and he placed more pressure on to Axel's neck. "Good! Don't worry I'm not going to kill him" He then turned back to Axel who had got a shimmer of hope in his eyes. But that was then wiped off, as Saix's cold dark stare was placed upon him again. "Because you're already dead!"

"Saix as your Superior. I am ordering you to release VIII" Xemnas shouted at him rising from his chair, raising his voice. As much as he enjoyed it when Saix was in his berserk state, as he could quite easily destroy anything in his path. He didn't want to seem like he couldn't control seventh member.

"And I'm telling you: I don't give a SHIT!"

There was then a sudden gasp. Xigbar blinked a little then in turned moved his chair back a bit; as Xemnas looked he would destroy his seventh member on the spot. Saix had never ever disrespected Xemnas in public before. He had never spoken back, to him before. Xemnas just glared at him. There was no way, at this point in time; he would risk the truth coming out about Saix and Axel. Not if he wanted his vessel. The vessel that Xigbar, so kindly, picked out for him. Xemnas would be having long and painfully words with him later. In order for Xemnas to not lose his vessel, as he would forced to exterminate him. He had to allow Saix the upper hand. But his punishment was going to be a severe one. "Now, SIR! Can I please get back to my chat with Axel?!" Xemnas took in a deep breath and shook his head. He then sat down and told Xaldin and Xigbar to be ready if things got out of hand.

The golden eyed nobody turn back to those emerald eyes and smirk. Right now he could end his life. He could be free from the long reasonability of looking after him. Or making sure that he wouldn't make a fool of himself. All that anger and rage had a hold on him; it made him strong, it made him feared, by all. But not alone did it fear other people; but more importantly himself.

_Saix you are going to kill him put him down!_ He heard a voice in his head. It was familiar to him. A voice, a young man's voice. His voice. Or rather Isa's.

This just enhance his rage, as he spoke to Axel in a sharp and dreadfully manner. "I HATE YOU!" Saix said taking deep breathes as his rage began build up again. His eyes were still glowing with rage, as he began to speak again. This time his face was only centimetres away from the red heads.

"I was going to apologize, Axel. But now I'm JUST not in the MOOD!" Saix spat in the lower ranking members face as he continued to speak. "Do you know what it feels like Axel? DO YOU?" Axel shook his head at the statement with fear masking his face.

He had never seen Saix or Isa this angry. He had never been so angry to cause intentional harm to Axel or Lea before. They had both always been able to stop themselves but this thing holding on to his neck wasn't Isa, nor Saix. It was something else completely.

_You're going to kill him!_

The blued haired nobody ignored the sound that was currently screaming at him. "It is Tearing me APART! It feels like I can't breathe, think or see. Everything I do... Is the thing inside my head, and not me. NOT being in control of any of your ACTIONS! You know what, it kind of feels like the situation you are in, DOESN'T IT!" Axel simply nodded. He knew his berserk mode was something you couldn't reason with. The only thing that could at least try; was Saix.

"Saix come on you are gunna kill him." Xigbar's voice could be heard from the back ground as Saix was trying to make it impossible for Axel to breathe.

However again everything rational, was just being moved to the corner in Saix's mind that was locked away as his power took control. Everything to do with his friendship with Axel. He didn't even care if his secret plans to kill Xemnas came out. All that matter to him, was making the only person he actually cared about, fade into nothingness.

_He's LEA! Your best friend! Don't do this; it is going to destroy whatever you have left with him. HE WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! STOP, PLEASE STOP!_

The blued haired nobodies head began to drive in pain again. Just like before, were he had lost control and almost murder Zexion. The pain was so excruciating, plaguing his mind into darkness as he crushed the life of Axel. His grip got tighter as the pain increased, into unbearable pain. He took in deep breath trying to block it out. He wouldn't, like Xemnas, back down, and show weakness in front of Xigbar and Xemnas. The more he thought about it; he knew that Xigbar and Xemnas were people he could never trust. Even if they did get rid of the wolf, Xigbar didn't suit his usual annoying manner. It was serious and scary, in a word: disturbing. So Saix had to battle though the pain just to prove he wasn't to be messed around with.

Saix suddenly pushed the pain back "You have been nothing up trouble since the first day I met you. I know don't care if you fade. In fact I want you to, right now." Axel looked into Saix eyes with water building up in them. If anyone noticed then they would assume to be the pain from his throat and lungs. But it was really tears, from Saix words.

"But fortunately for you; I don't want to be classed as a traitor now do I?" Xemnas, Xigbar and Axel's eyes all slightly widen at his statement. Axel's in fear he couldn't control his rage and get them both killed by the rest of the Organization. Whereas I and II were only worried about losing their vessel.

"Saix... I... can't br...eathe" was all Axel could respond to his statement.

_You are both going to end up dead! Please don't do this Saix_

The pain in his head broke though his rage again. It was telling him to let go of Axel. It save whatever they had left of their shattered and damaged friendship. If they could it a friendship. All of a sudden Saix let go of Axel and allowed him to fall to the ground in pain, as he felt his right eye tear up. That was it. They didn't have a friendship. Not anymore, he had hurt his best friend in ways he couldn't even think possible. They only person who had never given up on him was lying at his feet; struggling to get oxygen back into his lungs. That stupid red head, who always thought about Isa before himself. The person who was willing to risk everything to save what he held dear to him. Saix wasn't one of those things anymore. The PUPPET and XIII where! Saix then knelt down to look at Axel as he saw the tears that were forming as he was still gasping for breath. He looked pathetic. Someone so filled with life; who sacrifice his somebody for his. Was hurting, but he to get across to the other they weren't friends anymore. That they had no place in each other's non-existence lives.

"Axel" he said slowly as he was still drawing a lot attention as he had let go of his victim. A tear fell down his cheek as he continued to stare into the emerald eyes that held so much trust. "You have destroyed everything I have every wanted. For that when you fade; I'm going to laugh. And I'm hope I'm the one who does it"

Saix then walked out the kitchen without another word as he felt the tears of their shattered friendship finally coming to a close. Once Xion and Roxas knew Saix was gone they ran over to Axel saying words of concern and comfort, as they helped him to his seat in the kitchen.

"I'm fine" he said brushing the pair off, in a strained and weak voice. Vexen however stood up to examined the now brushing neck of his lesser member.

Zexion turned to Xigbar and Xemnas and stated. "Hope he revises a punishment." Which of course started up a chain reaction of all members side; Xemnas, Xigbar, Saix and Axel arguing over the situation.

"Yeah, sir you can't allow him to do stuff like that. You just sat there."

"Sir, he is getting to strong and dangerous do something"

"Axel had it coming"

"No he didn't"

"It's not up to you to decide."

"He is gunna kill us all"

"I'm scared to sit next to him"

"You have always been"

"I mean not forgetting he is a werewolf, he may even eat us!"

Xemnas pinched the bridge of his nose, in annoyance as the member continues to argue. There was no way that Saix couldn't go unpunished as he did almost slaughter his eighth member. Although it may even come to his advantage. If Saix had nothing to pull him back, into Isa's grasp, Xehanort could be free to take over. All depending if they could get the wolf of him. Maybe Axel would not want anything to do with Saix ever again.

"SILENCE" Xemnas shouted as he rose from his seat. Vexen after giving Axel some ice to put on his neck went to his seat as the room turned silent.

"Yesterday and Today have been eventful. Saix will be revising a punishment. As for you VIII; for keeping it a secret I think you have had enough of a punishment." Xemnas sigh as he sat back down. "Now Vexen I will need you to concentrate on finding a cure of VII. In the mean time; none of you talk to Saix. I don't need any more drama today."

"Look Xemmy, I don't want to interrupt you or anything. But... I think Axel and Vexen should go to the medical wing to get him checked out." Xigbar smiled.

The Superior nodded and noted for everyone to leave and go on their way. He didn't have the time or the will to send them on any mission. So he was left with Xigbar who just stated to laugh, as sons as everyone had left. _That bloody pirate always knowing more stuff then I do_.

"What do you find so funny?"

"Well the fact that we picked a werewolf for a vessel is kind of funny. Also the look on your face when he said the 'T' word was classic!" Xigbar then again started laughing at the top of his lungs, Xemnas was surprised nobody ran in, to see if Xigbar was being attacked. It sounded more like a cackle then a laugh. This was going to be a long and painful day.

Later on in the day...

"Hey wolfy how you doing?" Xigbar strutted into Saix's room without knocking or even respecting the other's space.

Xigbar no matter what, had to find Saix and get a sample of his blood. As all the others members chicken out and claimed they were worried that he might bite them. The Freeshooter sighed to himself. They didn't have any biting problems up until now, so what was the big deal. That was until he saw the state of Saix's Room. Everything; including mission reports, his bed, desk, clothes and window was torn and ripped to piece as Saix just sat in the middle of it all. The blued nobody just sat there praying for Xigbar to go away as it was easy to tell he had been crying. He just looked down hoping that Xigbar wouldn't notice his weakness. He never cried, but the realisation he had lost Lea... Axel was too much to bear.

"Hey buddy, why is everything torn to pieces?" He didn't get a response, just Saix moving his head down more as Xigbar shut the door and took a seat next to the berserk. "A long two days huh?" because Xehanort and Xemnas trusted Xigbar the most, the Freeshooter had to insure Xehanort's vessels were in tip top shape. It also meant that he had to be there when they were in a state like this.

Saix alone nodded in response to that.

"Sai, how long did you think you could keep this up? I mean, not even I could keep this a secret" _(hear the sarcasm in his voice, little dirty liar)_

Saix turned his face to Xigbar and sighed. "I just wanted my heart back. I didn't want this thing getting in the way of that."

"Mate this isn't going to change anything. It only means we have to get it out of ya that's all." Again Saix just placed his head down. Xigbar meant well but he didn't need him accidentally annoying him today. After a moment of silence Xigbar realised he should just get straight to the point.

"Well Vexy is trying to get on to a cure, but I needed your blood." without question Saix rolled up a sleeve and allowed Xigbar to piece his skin with the needle he didn't notice he was carrying.

After Xigbar got what he had came for, he stood up to leave the berserk alone. But as he opened the door he was stopped by Saix calling his name. "Xigbar?" he turned around to look at the second in command with concern. Never before had he heard such desperation in his voice before.

"Yeah Saix what is it?"

"Do you really think Vexen can well... fix me?"

Xigbar smiled. Vexen could do anything, the man was a flipping genius when he didn't miss the complete and utter obvious. But he was sure Vexen could do whatever he had to, to help their second in command. "Yeah. He can." With that Xigbar left his room in order to find Xemnas and not Vexen. No matter how much he wanted the wolf to go. The task now was getting Vexen not see the similarities with in himself, Xemnas and Saix. It was fine before as Zexion had always done his blood samples, and Vexen was never allowed to get a look in. it was the same thing with Xemnas. Lucky for them Saix had always reused to blood test. But now Vexen was going to notice, and he had to act quickly in order that nothing could link Saix to Xemnas. Much like before Xigbar didn't care for knocks; he just strolled into the superiors office without even the slightest warning.

"Yo Minster Master, got the blood sample for ya." Xigbar smiled as he place the syringe in front of his superior. Xemnas gave him a hard stare. If he wasn't a vessel he sure would have faded by now. With all the annoying catch phrase and nicknames that came out of his mouth. The white haired nobody sighed and took the syringe, then placed in a draw of his desk. Once closing the draw his desk top open and a computer arose from the desk. No matter how many times Xigbar saw this; he was fascinated that Xemnas even had it. Vexen didn't even know he had it.

The computer then turned itself on; an analysis of data came onto the screen, in the form of DNA. The Freeshooter had no idea what any of the lines swirls meant. He didn't even understand what G-C, or A-T meant. But it didn't really matter to him as long as Xemnas could read the damn thing it was all good.

It was silent for a while. Xemnas was staring hard at the screen and Xigbar was tying his hardest to keep awake. He was leaning on Xemnas chair, so it was in his best interest that he didn't fall asleep and on to the Superior. Xemnas suddenly gasped and placed one hand on his head.

"Oh, Shit!"

"What... What's wrong?" Xigbar pondered.

"We can't fix him."

Xigbar stood up and stared oddly at Xemnas. Of course they could fix it. They had much better technology than anyone else of course they could. "Yeah we can. Why do you say that?"

"Because Xigbar this happened before he became a nobody. "

"And why the fuck would that matter?"

"Xigbar, think about it why does Roxas look like Ven and not Sora?" Xemnas said looking straight into his eye. Xigbar wasn't sure if should answer that question; after all he had Terra in him. Oh... that was it. Xemnas was the nobody of Xehanort, Terra and he was pretty sure Eraqus was connected somehow. But it meant he couldn't change anything about him. Even if Xigbar wanted to he couldn't kill Terra completed.

"Because he is the Nobody of both Isa and that Wolf. There is nothing we can do." Xemnas finished off his train of thought for him.

"Can't we at least let Vexen try?"

"Xigbar don't let me mistake you for someone who cares. You don't even care about Zexion, and Ienzo was like a nephew to Braig." This made Xigbar shut up. He didn't like talking about Braig. Mainly because Xigbar's somebody, unlike everyone else's, was long gone. Braig died a long time ago, even before his body actually died. He had to admit thinking about the past hurt, but Xehanort didn't care. So how could he?

"If we allow Vexen to test the blood he will either notice the similarity, or think that Xehanort is the wolf and get rid of him. Now do you want that Xigbar?"

"So what do we do? allow this to happen. Because I don't think old nitter natter is going to be too happy!" Xigbar finished coming out of his trance responded.

"Oh we can still use Saix. And we will..."

**Done. Hope you enjoyed the story really enjoyed writing it, and I'm thank full for all those who read it. If any of you want a squeal I don't think I will be writing one for a while yet. However if any of you are interested I am currently planning a new Kingdom Hearts story , which I haven't fully decided on the name and a series of one shots called 'Nothing Goes On Forever' **

**Again thank you or reading the story and hope to see you all soon. **


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